Miss Manners

Every generation has trust issues.  Or better yet, the new technologies that create them!

I've been collecting my thoughts for months now and every time I hear of a friend "clearing out their facebook friend list" I think about it again.  It has been the reason why I don't post pictures or stories as often on FB or even my blog... and here's what it boils down to for me at least.  Feel free to chime in if you have other thoughts to add.

• Trust.  If I post something, I'm trusting all those who read/view it to interact with it.  This means leaving a comment or "liking" it or somehow telling me (ie: by email) that you've interacted with my blog/page/wall.  You don't have to comment on or like every picture/post, but occasionally would at least let me know what interests you and who my audience is.
• Give-And-Take.  Getting comments is a bit like having a conversation.  You comment.  I respond.  That's how these internet conversations go.  If I post and you don't comment, then this is a very one-sided (and therefore unhealthy) relationship, isn't it?  Isn't the logical extent of a one-sided relationship stalking or some other dysfunction??
• Balance.  I'm being vulnerable by posting something.  If you read it without responding, there's an imbalance there for sure!  I'm not saying you have to comment on everything, but at least occasionally..
• Manners.  I think it boils down to having good manners and following good etiquette in the facebook/blog realm.  The difficulty (and I understand this!) is that these technologies are still new, so collectively we're still figuring out what's appropriate and what isn't.
• Purpose.  People use facebook and blogs for very different reasons.  Some people use them as a journal and others just to entertain their friends.  These different purposes might lead to different expectations on interactions.  For example, a cooking blog is not personal, so I don't feel the need to comment on it from time to time unless I make one of the recipes and want to communicate my praise.  But for those of us who bare our soul from time to time in the public forum, we perhaps have different expectations.  (by the way, baring one's soul is a generational thing to some extent at least.  I can't imagine someone in my parents' generation wrestling with a spiritual or emotional issue publicly!)

Almost a year ago I added a Feedjit module on the right side of my blog.  It tracks the location of everyone who reads my blog.  Thanks to having friends around the world, I generally know who has been reading and how often.  I'm starting to feel, though, that this is not enough, so I'm considering a sign-in feature.  Facebook doesn't allow Feedjit-type features, so I'm now considering cutting down my FB friends list to those who actually interact with me.  I have lots of people on there that I never talk to.  Perhaps I'm the only one who really cares about this sort of thing, but I have the feeling I'm not... how do you maintain your privacy without merely keeping all your thoughts out of the blogisphere? 

-JLR