Birthday Festivities

30 isn't so bad... but turning 30 in rural Tanzania where there are only a handful of westerners and little to no access to shopping?  Now that takes a little getting used to!  Tim and Micaiah did a good job, though, and I am happy to say that I felt properly celebrated and sufficiently embarrassed, and that's the point of a birthday, right? :)

An overview of my day...

Sleeping in!  Yay for an extra hour of sleep!  Tim had already asked what I'd want for breakfast, so we planned ahead for a pineapple-banana-kefir shake topped with my homemade peanut butter granola.  Yum! 

Leisurely morning.  The power went off shortly after Tim made the aforementioned shake, so that slows things down a bit.  Normally our day consists of a full morning of school with some activities carrying over into the afternoon.  Instead, I did about an hour of school with Micaiah and let the non-essentials go for the day.  I also enjoyed a leisurely, hot bath (once the power returned and we were able to use the hot water kettle!).  It sounds mundane, but since we normally take cold showers in the mornings, I assure you that this was quite a treat!

Messages, Messages, Messages.  I'm almost entirely certain that Tim did a bit of work to remind people that it was my birthday and urge friends to post thoughtful, encouraging messages to me.  I got more than a hundred emails and messages on facebook!  Not only that, but many of them were exceptionally meaningful and heartfelt-- I appreciated all who took the time to give me the gift of encouragement on my big day!

Gifts.  Somewhere between the homeschooling and bathing and breakfasting (that's a word, right?), I got gifts.  Micaiah and Tim gave me a metal stand to hang some of my mugs on (yay!), some pringles, some chocolate, and-- the best surprise-- an episode of CHOPPED!!  It's my favorite tv show, and a completely surprise gift.  I'd never have imagined that the internet would have been good enough to download something like this through i-tunes.  Oh, and I may be forgetting two of my favorite gifts-- Micaiah picked out a beautiful bouquet of silk flowers (!) and the shop-owner of our favorite shop in town gave me a musical, light-up birthday card!  It was so sweet!  Nothing like a bit of Tanzanian flare to spice up a birthday. :)  Don't worry, pictures are below...

Food.  Can't be a birthday without more good food!  I already mentioned the shake and granola for breakfast.  For lunch we had beans and rice with our workers and talked about birthday traditions here in Tanzania (which are minimal).  I had made my cake the day before-- a strawberry (read: pink! yuck!) box cake that my friend Jamie gave me, topped with a delicious almond buttercream icing (with REAL butter!) and garnished with chopped dried cherries that I brought all the way from the US.  It was delicious!  Since I'm still not eating a lot of sugar or flour, I've had to limit myself to one piece a day, but it was a nice splurge.  Yesterday I had had enough and cut the remainder into slices and stuck it in the freezer.  That way I can spread out the treat and not go into a sugar coma. :) 

Food (continued).  For dinner I made pizza.  Before you go feeling sorry for me that I had to cook my own birthday meal, remember that I actually like to cook.  And I had saved a few very special things for my birthday meal, including our last package of pepperoni and some mozzarella cheese I managed to find in town!  So I made pizza (pepperoni, onion, ground beef) and garlic breadsticks. 

And now for some pictures:

Can you believe this mosquito?  This is MY pink cake thank you very much!  :)

 The finished product.  I thought after the fact that I should have added some dark chocolate chunks in with the chopped dried cherries... that would have been yummy!

 Cooking up a big birthday dinner. 

The dinner-- two pizzas (I'm not going to waste precious mozzarella on Tim, who doesn't even like it!)

 This card was amazing!  It had an instrumental rendition of the "happy birthday" song and lit up every time I opened it..... Micaiah may have enjoyed it more than I did!  The roses on the front (not pictured) were like this but 3D. :)

This is the lovely (!) bouquet of silk flowers that Micaiah spotted in town and decided I MUST have as part of my birthday present. :) 

Me with my birthday cake.


Quote of the day: "Thank you, Jeana, for making your birthday so special for me!" --Tim. :)

Thanks to all who helped make my 30th birthday special for me, too! 

-JLR

The Quest for Clean Water

We are thankful that our water situation in Mpanda is as good as it is. We have a 1000L (264 gallon) tank that (ideally) gets filled up at least once a week. That tank feeds into our house and helps us wash our hands, wash dishes, flush the toilets, i.e. all the normal things that you just sort of take for granted in the States. We have a friend who works for the water department in the St. Louis area who says there's a daily usage of around 200 million gallons. If I've done the math right that works out to around 71 gallons a person per day. That would about wipe out our tank in one day. That's not to make anybody feel guilty or anything, I'm just trying to give a comparison.

And it's not just enough to get water, because we do have to bathe in it and drink some of it and that's a bit different than just flushing the toilet with it. This is sort of what it's like when it comes in. It looks (and smells) a lot like river or lake water.

We have a Katdyn water filter (micro) that filters out microbes but leaves behind a large residue of dirt, bugs, leaves, etc. This ends up clogging up the 3 ceramic filters and really slows down the process.

Hence, my quest to build a working bio filter that works on the macro level (and theoretically would work to filter out bad bacteria, amoeba, etc. as well). One step at a time though. I got the idea from some missionaries in the Mara region working on water filtration. It basically uses layers of sand and rocks (which naturally filter all sorts of water around the world in underground springs, etc.) I've gotten as far as a prototype (pictured below in white) which seems to be working well at the macro level.

Each run through seems to show the water getting clearer and clearer. I've already thought of a few improvements I could make, so we'll see how it goes. Check out: http://villagehealthproject.org/biosandFilters.html for more information. There are loads of NGOs/missions doing this sort of thing in Africa. This site happens to have PDFs for plans and photos of each step in the process for building concrete bio filters.


-TMR

Thank God for... Toilets?

Do you take your western toilet for granted?  I do.  Or I did at least, before I had to be without one for weeks and weeks!  It seems that squatty potties are standard for most homes in Mpanda.  This was true of the Langs' new house, which had two.  While we were staying there with the two oldest kiddos (Jer, Jamie, and Lily were in Nairobi-- see my last post), a fundi (think specialized repairman-- electrician, plumber, carpenter, etc.) came to install their two western toilets.  What a welcomed relief!  The only downside was having to use the outside squatty potty for about four days while we waited for the cement to dry thoroughly.  It was worth the wait, though!

 

The "Squatty Potty" (aka the "before" pictures).  Squatty potties are more common for many cultures around the world.  Some flush, some don't, but most are shaped like this or similarly.

The "Western Toilet" (aka the "after" picture).  And yes, it is a step higher than the rest of the bathroom.  It is a throne and after using a squatty potty for weeks, I sure felt like royalty!!  But maybe that's more than you wanted to know... :)

In other good news, our new house has one Western toilet and one squatty potty.  We have another Western toilet to have installed, just as soon as things calm down here.


-JLR

Too Busy To Worry

My apologies for the lack of posts in the past few weeks.  It wasn't because there wasn't anything going on here-- in fact, quite the opposite!  We'd finish each day and just collapse into bed so it could start again the next day.

I've been meditating on the passage from Matthew 6 and particularly this verse: "Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Indeed it does!  For the first time in my life, I have actually realized that I am too busy to worry.  Over the course of the last few weeks, I have come to expect that each "tomorrow" will be a challenge.  Not only does worry not accomplish anything positive, but I'm stealing the energy God has given me to deal with each "today."  I'm a natural worrier, so this is a big lesson that God has been teaching me!

Anyway, here's the brief version of the past few weeks to get you caught up:
Oct 9 (when I last posted)-19-- we moved from the guesthouse into the Langs' home.  We stayed there with them and helped them with a number of home-improvement projects such as putting screens on their front and back security doors to keep mosquitoes and flies out.  We (as in both families together) got into routines of cooking, cleaning, securing the house, talking with various fundis ("experts" in various things like plumbing, carpentry, electricity, etc.) to arrange improvements and repairs.  Oh, and many of us got sick with a nasty virus during this stretch, so were out of commission for 2-4 days at a time.  Thankfully Jamie didn't get it and was able to continue preparing food for the gang!

Oct 20-- our friend Jeremy was airlifted from Mpanda to Nairobi for emergency medical treatment.  He had been very sick for the 20 hours or so leading up to his med-evacuation.  Jamie and Lily (their youngest) went with him.

Oct 20-26-- We stayed in Mpanda at the Lang's house with Junio and Annabelle (their two oldest kids).  We had our moments of frustration during this time for sure-- like that Saturday when we had a crew working on the perimeter wall, a crew working on installing 2 western toilets, and the plumber who was overseeing the toilets and also working on other plumbing jobs.  Tim left at several points to get additional plumbing supplies in town and to work on negotiations for our new house.  We somehow kept all this organized along with managing the usual househelper and keeping the kiddos fed and entertained.... I didn't think I'd make it through that day!  But we did.  (ok, so I did break down at least twice during the day, but was better each time after a good cry...)  The downside to having the toilets installed to replace the squatty potties was that the cement needed 4 days to dry and we'd need to use the outhouse during that time!  Bummer!  (btw, it is probably the nicest outhouse I've ever used, but it's still inconvenient to make potty runs outside, especially with three kiddos and when mosquitoes are out late at night!)

Oct 26-- Jamie and Lily returned to Mpanda by a small chartered AIM flight. 

Oct 27-- We woke up to chaos-- the guard outside had chased off three (or more?) thieves.  One had distracted him by throwing rocks at the gate while others hopped over the wall and took some plastic chairs that were outside.  They got away.  We heard later that it was probably young troublemakers who had "hit the neighborhood" and stolen several things from other yards as well.  It took us some time to review our security plan and make sure we were as safe as possible.

Oct 31-- We finished moving things into our new house and spent the first night there.

Since then we have been settling in, unpacking, having fundis come to work on electricity, plumbing, blender repair (a priority so I can have my morning kefir shakes!!), and other various things.  I have been training a new househelper who may or may not work out for us... it depends on how this week (her second week) goes!  We'll just have to wait and see.  But for now things are starting to slow down and we're able to get back into some routines.  Routines keep me sane, after all and bring a much-welcomed structure to my schedule.

Speaking of structure, time to get back to homeschool with Micaiah. :)

-JLR

The Journey from Mbeya to Mpanda

It took us two days to drive from Mbeya to Mpanda with the Lang family.  The first day was Mbeya to Sumbawanga and took about 7 hours and 45 minutes.  But considering the number of potty stops we made, we're estimating driving time was more like 7 hours.  The second day was Sumbawanga to Mpanda and took us about 5 hours total.  Once we (and the big truck!) arrived, then it was time to unload everything and get some sleep. 

Tim and the truck after day 1 of driving.  We don't have pictures of post day 2 of driving that are accessible at the moment, so just imagine double the mud/dirt. 

 

This is the trailer that the Langs were pulling.  It had a number of our suitcases and action packers as well as a bunch of their stuff.  We also had a big Fuso truck (a lorry) that was carrying most of the Lang's furniture as well as our mattresses and large appliances.  But for some reason I didn't take pictures of that... sorry.

 X-- GIRAFFE CROSSING--X  Part of the road from Sumbawanga to Mpanda goes through Katavi National Park.  We were bummed to not see much wildlife until we came across this big group (herd? flock? troop?) of giraffes.  We had to wait until they moved out of the way.  There were also zebras and monkeys in this stretch of road. 

 The Langs were in front and waited for this lone giraffe to leave the road before we went on. :)

 The giraffes continued to watch us as we passed.  You can see a few zebra rear-ends in the back right of the picture, too.

 As we were leaving the park, there is a bridge that crosses over this river.  We said, 

"look, Micaiah, at the hippos!"  

"I don't see any hippos, Mama.  All I see is a bunch of big rocks... WAIT, those ARE hippos!!!!"

Indeed they were hippos!  Lots of them.  We were quite safe on the bridge, but what a sight!!

Now we're in Mpanda looking for a house and just itching to get all unpacked.  We don't have a lot of furniture already, so once we know where we'll be living we'll still have to have that made.  But in the meantime, we've been staying in a nice guesthouse (despite the loud music next door!) and will be moving in with the Langs in a day or two.  They're house is starting to come together and all their un-packing is going well.  We're thankful to have friends here who have made the long journey with us and will continue to journey with us in the coming years as we serve together in Mpanda.

-JLR

Rivervalley Campsite

We stayed at Rivervalley Campsite for about two weeks while we took a Swahili Refresher course.  One of the downfalls of our time there was bad internet connection, so there is a lot to post now.  But I think the pictures tell the stories better than I can...

Micaiah turned 6 1/2!!! I know, I know... it isn't THAT big of a deal except that it was also the 6 month mark since she had her ears pierced, which meant that she could now wear dangly earrings!  We celebrated by letting her wear a pair of my earrings as a special treat. :)

This is a sausage tree.  I was thankful to know enough Swahili to talk with the ladies who wash the laundry at Rivervalley.  They warned us to walk quickly under the tree so we didn't get hit by falling "sausages"!

This is what they look like on the ground-- Micaiah could hardly lift it!

This is Tim and I in class with our teacher, Kiobya.  There was another student (Simon) with us for the majority of our two week refresher course.

This is Micaiah in her Swahili class. :)  She did informal Swahili with one of the caregivers the first week, then the second week she joined some of the other kids (and their tutor!) in a class with a teacher, Joyce.  As you can see, they may have had a bit more fun than us-- they even got to play hangman!

This is Micaiah's class. Laura (the tutor), Luke, Micaiah, Nikki, and Joyce (the Swahili teacher).

This is Joyce (Micaiah's Swahili teacher).

This is Micaiah with Polly.  Polly is the laziest guard-dog known to man. :)

 Micaiah had an accident while we were at Rivervalley.  It gave us a good scare, actually.  She was hopping around on these stumps when she changed directions and slipped and hit her head on one of them.  She had a big bump on her head and-- more frightening-- the symptoms of a concussion.  She was threw up several times, was really sleepy, had somewhat blurry vision, some slurred speech, etc.  But thankfully we were able to get some good medical advice and didn't need to use our emergency evacuation plan!  Micaiah woke up in the morning as if nothing had happened.  Praise God for His protection and for healing our little girl!

This is Harold.  Harold is a very large tortoise that was found at Rivervalley.  The kids were given the big responsibility of taking him food every day-- a job that they loved and took very seriously. 

 These are the three very responsible tortoise-feeders. :)

 

This is Laura.  Laura came to Tanzania to help another family with their homeschool/lessons while the parents were in language school.  Laura (and the other family) graciously agreed to let Micaiah join them for school time and helped supervise Micaiah's modified homeschool assignments while we were in Iringa.  We enjoyed many laughs with Laura and these two especially became very close!  There were some very tearful goodbyes when we left.

Tim on the zipline at a nearby campsite!!! After a decent hike to this part of the river, we enjoyed going across and back on this awesome contraption.  So much better than a bridge!

Micaiah and I went together.  Safety first.  She's quite adventurous and thought this was as good as or better than the roller coasters she went on this summer at Six Flags. :)

Don't worry, this is just a posed picture.  I put her out over the air, but she was only a foot or so from the platform. :)

We really enjoyed our time in Iringa.  It was good to see our friends Will and Amanda again and to get to know their daughter Carrie as well.  It's nice to visit places that we have already been and share those memories together as a family.

-JLR

Tumefika Tanzania!

We have now been in Tanzania for 15 days.  So much has happened that to try to catch up now would produce a long and probably boring blog post.  But perhaps I should touch on the highlights...

-We had safe travels (first week of September) including 30 total hours of travel.  Eight or so hours of that was spent in the London airport.
-We traveled with 11 check bags (10 of which were ours, one we brought on behalf of some friends), three carry-on size suitcases, and three backpacks.  All luggage and handbaggage arrived safely and intact with us!!
-We spent 11 days in Dar es Salaam doing a variety of tasks ranging from jetlag recovery to getting our Tanzanian Drivers Licenses to purchasing various household items to visiting friends to meetings with each of our department heads in Dar... the list goes on.  Basically we had a lot of logistics to attend to and added enough margin to keep sane in the process! 
-On September 17 we drove to Iringa, which is where we currently are living as we take a Swahili refresher course.  Our Swahili has returned MUCH faster than we expected and we are getting all sorts of encouragement from local people.  Perhaps more importantly we are gaining confidence that we will be able to communicate effectively here in this country and we continue to improve each day we are here.
-I finally learned the compound tenses!  I know this may not seem like a big deal, but the first time we were here I was more focused on the basics.  I was not able to understand these much less use them correctly, so this is bringing me a huge sense of accomplishment and encouragement! 

As you can see, it has been a busy few weeks.  We will try to keep you all posted, as this can be a great forum to post interesting stories and pictures between newsletters.

And now for some pictures...

 Micaiah was all smiles from the time our plane touched down in Dar es Salaam!  She is loving Tanzania and is happy to have met new and old friends along the way.

 This is where we stayed in Dar.  It is the SIL guesthouse and was very comfortable. We had to readjust to many things like not using tap water to brush our teeth and sleeping under mosquito nets.

 This is our new truck.  We bought it from another family that left TZ, so it was waiting for us when we arrived!

 There is an elephant in this picture.  You may not be able to see it, but you'll have to trust me. :)  One of the perks of driving from Dar to Iringa is passing through Mikumi National Park and seeing some wildlife along the way.  Micaiah had prayed that we would see elephants (rare to see from the road in this park!!), so this was a huge blessing!!

 Giraffes!! Hopefully you can see these better than the elephants.  :)

 Our home in Iringa.  We are staying in Banda #1 at Rivervalley Campsite.  It has been an adjustment to have all of our laundry hand-washed again.

Micaiah LOVES exploring here at the campsite!  She has been able to join some other kids (about) her age for part of her morning for school time and is hanging out with a Tanzanian lady to learn Swahili for the rest of the morning.  She is doing really well with her lessons and is consistently greeting and learning words!
 
-JLR

Ready to Go?

Surely I must be forgetting something.

We have our bags packed and are working on weighing them so they are just under our 50 pound allotment.  We're making sure they're labeled and that there are extra zip ties inside just in case they get search and need to be re-sealed.

But I must be forgetting something.

We leave tomorrow (lord-willing!!) and will spend today saying goodbye to family.  We spent a good portion of this past week traveling around and saying goodbyes to friends, but we're thankful to have almost all of our closest family here in town to visit and to say goodbye tomorrow.

But I still can't shake this nagging feeling that I'm forgetting something.

Our goal was to have some well-protected margin in our last two weeks here in St Louis.  We packed for 4-5 days straight and got a majority of it all done.  These past few days have just been finalizing the details, packing our hand baggage, etc.  It feels strange to have leftover time.  I think they call it "margin," but it's such a new concept to a type A person like me that it feels odd-- like I'm always forgetting something!  Once I'm able to shake this feeling, I'm confident that I will like this approach much better than the rush-around-like-a-chicken-with-my-head-cut-off approach... yeah, that wasn't working for me. :)

But what am I forgetting??

-JLR

Camp

We've had a lot of opportunities to share about our work in Tanzania, but one of my highlights this summer was sharing at Kings Kids Camp near St Louis, MO.  Preparing for this presentation was fun and exciting, and it got me wondering why we don't make all of our presentations so interactive and... well... interesting!!  How do you make linguistics interesting?  You don't talk about it!! Just kidding. :)  It's true that linguistics can be a very dry subject.  If you don't believe me, you should try reading Tim's Master's Thesis!  But somehow, knowing that our audience was 9-13 year-olds forced us to think outside the box!  And I'm glad we did. 

We did a monolingual demonstration where Tim played "Mafuru" the Tanzanian.  I had three translation helpers try to translate what he was saying, illustrating both the need for translators and the difficulties (on an elementary level) that they face.  They loved hearing us talk back and forth in Swahili as I translated for him, and I taught them a few Swahili words along the way.  My favorite part was later hearing that some younger campers debated for quite some time whether or not Tim was actually from Tanzania!!  I guess the blonde hair didn't give him away after all!  We also did a compare/contrast between an Ikizu alphabet chart and the English one... the kids really enjoyed that and were rewarded with candy for each difference they found.  We showed the obligatory maps and even had a video of what it was like to drive on Tanzanian "roads."  And finally we closed with a bit of cultural education-- I gave them all candy and then taught them the word Shikamoo (respectful greetings to elders) and had them present their candy to their counselors as they practiced the greeting.  Tying candy into any experience is sure to help them remember it!

This presentation was especially meaningful to me because I was 10 years old the first year I went to this camp.  Camp was where I first learned that Jesus was more than a character in stories-- that He was real and wanted to be my friend.  I spent three years as a camper and four years as a Jr/Sr counselor until finally I had too many scheduling conflicts between camp and short-term missions trips.  It's only one week in the summer, but somehow those who go to camp keep coming back for more year after year.  This experience was so nostalgic that we're already trying to figure out how to make sure we can be back in time for camp on a furlough-- it would be so special to have all three of us at camp together!

And now a picture... this was my last year at camp as a counselor (1999).  I'm in the back row, second from the left. :)

I only wish I had one from my first year at camp... or maybe I'm glad I don't!

-JLR

Psalm 42

 ¹ As the deer pants for streams of water,
   so my soul pants for you, my God.
² My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
   When can I go and meet with God?
³ My tears have been my food
   day and night,
while people say to me all day long,
   “Where is your God?”
⁴ These things I remember
   as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go to the house of God
   under the protection of the Mighty One^[d]
with shouts of joy and praise
   among the festive throng.
 ⁵ Why, my soul, are you downcast?
   Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
   for I will yet praise him,
   my Savior and my God.
 ⁶ My soul is downcast within me;
   therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
   the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.
⁷ Deep calls to deep
   in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
   have swept over me.
 ⁸ By day the LORD directs his love,
   at night his song is with me—
   a prayer to the God of my life.
 ⁹ I say to God my Rock,
   “Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
   oppressed by the enemy?”
¹⁰ My bones suffer mortal agony
   as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
   “Where is your God?”
 ¹¹ Why, my soul, are you downcast?
   Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
   for I will yet praise him,
   my Savior and my God.

Eat Your Veggies

I eat several meals a day and spent time considering, planning, preparing, and cooking meals for my family.  Early this year, Tim and I started to change our diet for health reasons related to long-term stress and related hormone imbalances (see this previous post for more info).  In the past couple weeks, we've also been watching a few other new-to-us programs on similar issues:  Food, Inc. (a documentary on where food comes from in the US) and Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution (a tv show on ABC about changing the way America eats). 

I can't believe how few veggies most Americans eat!  Ok, I can.  I never used to eat veggies myself, unless you counted the pea/corn mixture that would garnish my plate at dinner times throughout my childhood.  But for breakfast?  Or lunch?  No thanks-- I'll stick to my meat/carbs/dairy combinations, thank you very much!  I counted potatoes as my veggies-- mashed, boiled, roasted, or fried.  I wish I could blame this entirely on my parents, but honestly I didn't cook many veggies (other than potatoes) in my first years out of the house, either.  Maybe some frozen corn/peas, some potatoes, or a can of green beans, but not fresh real ingredients.  It's only really in the last few years (probably since moving to TZ in 2007 and not having access to the same foods!) that I've learned to cook and prepare a variety of fresh fruits and vegetables.  And it's probably only in the past couple months that I've actually started to enjoy the fruits and veggies more than the processed foods.  Why is that?  My theory is that my body was literally addicted to food-related pleasures-- fats, sugars, refined flours, and a whole host of preservatives and chemicals!  It has taken removing them from my diet to actually see that there are better options.  And now, I'm just starting to really appreciate the whole, real foods for what they are-- high quality fuel for my body! 

I'm thankful for the new USDA Food Guide, which emphasizes filling half your plate at every meal with veggies (and fruit).  According to the CDC via this website, less than 1/3 of adults eat the recommended servings (2 fruit/3 veggies) every day.  Healthy eating takes intentionality.  It is an investment of time and money.  Eating equal amounts of veggies/fruits as carbs/protein really does take discipline and planning.  In addition to getting myself healthy, I also want to be a good example of healthy eating for my daughter.  I want her to grow up with healthy perceptions of food and to learn these healthy-eating principles now rather than having to re-learn them later.  How amazing would that be to grow up with an immune system that's built up by consuming nutrient- and antioxidant-rich foods??  That's an investment!  And if I can get healthier while helping my family grow stronger, then that's a real win-win!

-JLR

Miss Manners

Every generation has trust issues.  Or better yet, the new technologies that create them!

I've been collecting my thoughts for months now and every time I hear of a friend "clearing out their facebook friend list" I think about it again.  It has been the reason why I don't post pictures or stories as often on FB or even my blog... and here's what it boils down to for me at least.  Feel free to chime in if you have other thoughts to add.

• Trust.  If I post something, I'm trusting all those who read/view it to interact with it.  This means leaving a comment or "liking" it or somehow telling me (ie: by email) that you've interacted with my blog/page/wall.  You don't have to comment on or like every picture/post, but occasionally would at least let me know what interests you and who my audience is.
• Give-And-Take.  Getting comments is a bit like having a conversation.  You comment.  I respond.  That's how these internet conversations go.  If I post and you don't comment, then this is a very one-sided (and therefore unhealthy) relationship, isn't it?  Isn't the logical extent of a one-sided relationship stalking or some other dysfunction??
• Balance.  I'm being vulnerable by posting something.  If you read it without responding, there's an imbalance there for sure!  I'm not saying you have to comment on everything, but at least occasionally..
• Manners.  I think it boils down to having good manners and following good etiquette in the facebook/blog realm.  The difficulty (and I understand this!) is that these technologies are still new, so collectively we're still figuring out what's appropriate and what isn't.
• Purpose.  People use facebook and blogs for very different reasons.  Some people use them as a journal and others just to entertain their friends.  These different purposes might lead to different expectations on interactions.  For example, a cooking blog is not personal, so I don't feel the need to comment on it from time to time unless I make one of the recipes and want to communicate my praise.  But for those of us who bare our soul from time to time in the public forum, we perhaps have different expectations.  (by the way, baring one's soul is a generational thing to some extent at least.  I can't imagine someone in my parents' generation wrestling with a spiritual or emotional issue publicly!)

Almost a year ago I added a Feedjit module on the right side of my blog.  It tracks the location of everyone who reads my blog.  Thanks to having friends around the world, I generally know who has been reading and how often.  I'm starting to feel, though, that this is not enough, so I'm considering a sign-in feature.  Facebook doesn't allow Feedjit-type features, so I'm now considering cutting down my FB friends list to those who actually interact with me.  I have lots of people on there that I never talk to.  Perhaps I'm the only one who really cares about this sort of thing, but I have the feeling I'm not... how do you maintain your privacy without merely keeping all your thoughts out of the blogisphere? 

-JLR

Building a RAFT

If you've been around the world of missions for long, you've probably heard the term RAFT in connection with healthy transitions.  We first heard this term in our orientation and were really able to understand it more in reading Third Culture Kids: The Experience of Growing Up Among Worlds by David C. Pollock and Ruth E. Van Reken, published by Intercultural Press. The book is an amazing resource if you have TCKs and haven't already read and memorized everything in it!

We've been using the RAFT model during this transition.  RAFT stands for:

Reconciliation

Affirmation

Farewells

Think Destination

I can summarize on my own, but since my own copy of TCK is currently packed in a box in our garage awaiting our journey back to Missouri, I will instead point to this great blog from another Member Care worker in Japan who summarizes each step very well.  

As we've been working through RAFT for this transition, I was most confused by the "Think Destination" step.  I understand that we're leaving Canada and that we need to tie up loose ends here.  But it's hard to think about whether we're preparing ourselves for Missouri or for Tanzania.  Will our RAFT last through 3 (or so) months of transitions?  Or do we build two (or more!) different RAFTs?  We've done a bit of both, but I expect that may be more confusing than it needs to be.  Surely this isn't an uncommon thing, so if anyone has any ideas, we're very open to them!  

Maybe I need to develop a HOUSE-BOAT model...

-JLR

Good Deeds

Why do I do the things I do?  I mean really.  I often tell myself that I do things for God, but maybe I'm deceiving myself.  ??

Part of the Sermon on the Mount describes how we should pray and that we should do it privately.  I started reading this passage a couple days ago after Micaiah announced at bedtime that she wanted to learn how to pray longer in front of other people.  She loves talking to God when she's by herself, but has trouble when others are around. Part of me was like, "oh, ok-- that's a good thing to learn," while the other part of me sent up very clear red flags... so we found this passage and began to teach Micaiah about the Sermon on the Mount.  In it, Jesus taught people that there is so much more to obeying the law than the Pharisees would ever admit.  In fact, it's not about rules and legalism, it's about love and grace... the Sermon on the Mount must have convicted all of its listeners that they, too, were in need of a Savior. 

I don't want to teach my daughter legalism in place of true faith! 

So we talked about how what she does in talking with God is actually better than praying in front of other people. This whole line of thinking has sparked a deeper thread in my mind... I think that one of the parts of the Sermon on the Mount that challenges me most is the passage in Matthew 6 that talks about 'acts of righteousness'-- all those good deeds I love to do. 

Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.   Matthew 6:1 

So I was examining my heart and wondered how I would feel if I were never acknowledged or thanked for any good deed I did.  Surely we're intended to thank each other and encourage each other with our words, but my sneaking suspicion is that somewhere along the line I started to crave the encouragement/thanks of man over the encouragement/thanks of my Father in heaven.  And when I start to think that way, all those "good deeds" don't seem so good anymore... they seem tainted by my selfishness and pride.  I'm learning more and more how I need Him each day more than ever!  I can identify with Paul when he writes that he is the "chief of sinners"... (1 Tim 1:15). 

Nothing like a good sober look at who I really am to burst my pride bubble...

-JLR

Real Canadian?

The Canucks won the conference semi-finals today!  Woohoo!  We got to watch the game with some good friends and even learned a new bit of hockey strategy.  It was a play that doesn't come up all that often and I know I won't be able to explain it well, but it has to do with the time between when a penalty is called and when the whistle is blown to stop play.  Anyway, that's not important right now.

What would it take to become Canadian?  Apart from a Canadian passport, of course.  See, I would really love to become Canadian.  I love it here!  And I hope we get the opportunity to return to BC sometime in the future.  But even after living here for two years, I still struggle to understand what makes Canadians culturally Canadian.  Surely there's more than just being 'nice' and eating lots of back bacon and maple syrup, right?  (which I've yet to actually eat in the company of a real Canadian, by the way...)  In my mind I'm trying to pinpoint the things that make Canadians unique on a slightly deeper level than what we eat. 

My first real clue is in regard to hockey.  There is something to this sport that is so Canadian in my mind. Kids play hockey with their dads on the street in the same way American kids/dads play catch in the backyard.  Hockey is the Canadian past-time in the same way that Baseball seems to be the American past-time.

Much to think about and now a poll to anyone who reads this... what do you think makes a Canadian a Canadian?  (feel free to specify a particular province, too-- I expect there's a lot of differences according to region!  Both E/W and N/S might have many differences!)

-JLR

Joy

That little three-letter word has cropped up a lot this past week.... 

A few weeks back I started a new (to me) Beth Moore Bible study called Living Beyond Yourself: Exploring the Fruit of the Spirit.  The whole point of it is that the fruit of the spirit is from God and not from ourselves.  I can't try harder to achieve them unless by that I mean that I'm seeking more intimacy with God so that the spirit is uninhibited in my life.  This week we're talking about JOY.  I'm a melancholy person by nature and I tend to be more sad than happy.  I bristle at those who are "happy-clappy" as Tim and I like to call it.  Not that being happy-clappy is bad, but it's just foreign to me.  What I'm learning now is that joy is different.  It is not about putting on a smiling face and jumping up and down... it's about being lifted from the inside!  As I sat in thankfulness for my salvation and for all of the things I enjoy about God-- His faithfulness, His persistence, His pursuit of me, His generosity, His tenderness, and intimate connection with Him-- I was overwhelmed by this lightness that overcame me!  And then I read this line:

"Lord Jesus, teach us to enjoy YOU and revel in your great salvation even when difficulty surrounds us."

I know difficulty.  I know stress and transition and fear... but do I know JOY in those times?  The answer is often no, unfortunately.  But I have hope that maybe this time it will be different.  Maybe this time I will be walking so closely to God that our transitions will not be something to endure but a time of overflowing JOY in my life, family, and ministry... at least that's what I'm praying for.

In other news, Micaiah packed up her clothes today.  I didn't have the heart to tell her that we don't leave for another 13 days, so she'll have to unpack tomorrow to find something to wear... time to go look through our Third Culture Kids book (again!!) and figure out how to help her build a R.A.F.T.... (don't know what I'm talking about??  stay tuned to a future day's blog about the R.A.F.T. model of healthy transitions!)

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  Against such things there is no law. --Galatians 5:22-23

-JLR

14 Days To Go

Today was a bit better emotionally.  Still many tears, but there were lots of practical things to keep my hands busy.  That gives my mind (and my tear-ful eyes!) a bit of a break from thinking too much.  As we're now in the final two weeks (!!!), we will start packing things up bit by bit until we've pulled all of our personal stuff out of this place and it becomes merely a guesthouse.  I'm kicking myself that I didn't take more pictures of the inside the way we had it set up.   

We spent some time packing up Micaiah's room this afternoon.  Her attitude was beyond amazing.  There were things that she definitely wanted to keep, but so many others that she was willing to let go.  I kept hearing her say, "I think my friend, ______, would really like this... it would help them remember me."  Oh sweet girl!  Like anyone could ever forget you! 

And yet, I think that's my fear, too.  Being forgotten.  Out of sight, out of mind.  Funny how something as "simple" as an international move brings such deep fears to the surface. 

We also watched Les Miserables this evening.  I've known the general outline of the story, but had never read the book or watched the movie.  (I know!  Shame on me, right?)  I was stunned by the depth of the characters and humbled by the example of mercy.  And the story so naturally translates to spiritual truths...I've been bought at a very high price... do I pour that love onto others as well?  Or do I judge them with the law?  Does the fruit of the spirit in me show that I am a changed woman?  Such good questions to think about. 

-JLR

My Little Tantrum

But I don't want to leave Langley! 

I know, I know... I sound like a two year-old.  But that doesn't change the fact that the past two years have held some of my fondest memories, my closest friendships, and one of the healthiest seasons that my little family of three has ever had, spiritually and emotionally.  Physically we've had our battles, but the access to amazing healthcare (ie: my naturopathic doctor and our TWU clinic doctor, who knows us by name!) has been so stellar that even that has been a blessing!  We have incredible friends, we have a terrific church, we have valuable work and roles here.  And now it's time to move on.  I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt.  It hurts a lot.  It makes me sob and cry out, "Why God, why!?!" 

"Because you're not done, Jeana.  There's still work to do."  I know this.  And in one sense I am excited and eager to get back to this work and to our new home in Tanzania.  But in another very real sense, this sucks!  The emotional stress of frequent goodbyes and international moves is by far my least favorite part of being a missionary.  

Random fact... I sometimes have projectile tears.  That's right.  I sometimes cry so hard that the tears practically shoot out of my eyes because they can't get out of there before new ones are already on their heels... and there will no doubt be many more tears in the weeks to come. 

Langley, BC has been by far one of our favorite places to live and work.  I'm so thankful to have had the chance to live here... BC truly is one of the most beautiful places on earth.  Two weeks to go.

-JLR

Calling All Drug Addicts...

Today I got some AMAZING news from my naturopathic doctor... my thyroid gland is healed!  If you've been following my health issues, you know that I had sub-clinical hypothyroidism along with a whole host of other issues related to stress hormones.  Some of those are still being worked out, but the thyroid is healed!  Woohoo!  The quality of my blood is also doing a lot better (hematocrit and hemoglobin values), so my iron-deficient anemia is also nearly gone. 

I'm in the process of weaning myself off of these natural/herbal supplements, which has presented some challenges.  The big one is how to divide a 45mg porcine thyroid dose into three equal parts... do I need to get out a mirror and a razor blade??  Anyone have any ideas for how to practically accomplish this??  The medication is in a gelatin capsule that I theoretically should be able to open (without spilling the contents everywhere??), but I don't know how graceful I will be with this.  I'm open to any ideas, especially ones that don't make me look like a drug addict... :)

I tell you what, after all this time of being sick, figuring out the 'hows' of lowering my dose is a good problem to have!

-JLR

Alexis Strikes Again

I've been blessed with the opportunity to show hospitality to many people during our time here in Langley.  Whether it is for dinner, for an overnight visit, for game night, for a playdate, or whatever, we have enjoyed using this beautiful home God has given us as a place to welcome guests! 

This past weekend we had guests, and guess who showed up the week before?  Alexis.  I didn't ask her to come, but as soon as she heard that we were having friends come for the weekend, she was on my doorstep with a to-do list for my preparations.  A few of the things on her list were that I needed to wash the windows, dust, sweep the floors (including the baseboards, which hardly ever get included!), mop, clean the light fixtures, vacuum the stairs, clean the blinds, and so on.  I should have known she'd show up.  She has impeccable timing for things like that.  I did take some of her suggestions, but thanks to these other two posts (here and here) about hospitality, I was also able to say no to many of her "shoulds."  Alexis' house is well-organized and spotless-- I don't know how she does it with a child in the house and all of her other activities! 

But then again, my guests didn't come to hang out with Alexis, they came to see me.  Jeana.  Not Alexis.  And I (Jeana, not Alexis) have less energy than I would like, so if I waste it all on cleaning the baseboards and light fixtures, I will have that much less energy for our time together.  Is there anyone out there who would turn their nose up at me if my baseboards were not clean?  Would you insist on staying somewhere else or eating somewhere else if there was a bit of dust on my chandeliers?  I have not yet come across someone who would admit to those things, but maybe they're just being kind. 

What do you think?  What are the things you don't get to before guests arrive?

-JLR

Rest

I have been dealing with really low energy levels for a long time now.  While I've finally gotten a working diagnosis (CFS) and am working with my naturopathic doctor on some factors she thinks contribute to it (sub-clinical hypothyroidism, adrenal burnout, progesterone deficiency, and iron-deficient anemia), I still have much more to learn.  We wore ourselves out on our first term serving in Tanzania.  I did way too much and my stress levels were way too high for far too long.  So long in fact that it wore out my adrenal glands!  It's more than just being tired, my body (stress hormones in particular) literally burned itself out.

Biblical, Sabbath rest is something I've been meditating on for a while now.  What can we do to live healthier, more balanced lives both here and in TZ?  We've been trying to focus more on Sabbath rest as one aspect of that balance.  We've been more diligent about our Sabbath Rest for several months now and we're trying to really guard our time as much as possible.  The trick has been resting from the activities that make us tired and that we do throughout the week.  For me that's cooking, cleaning, homeschooling Micaiah, email, facebook, and all the other ways that I correspond with our friends/family/partnership team on a regular basis.  But we still need to eat, so how legalistic should I be?  It was helpful to remember that the Sabbath is a gift.  "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath." (Mark 2:27)  So it's not about keeping the law, it's about resting and doing what is best for me and my body.  So we still eat on Sundays, though our food is a lot simpler (cereal, sandwiches, leftovers, etc.) and takes a lot less time/energy to prepare.  We just try to keep in mind that the day we take away from work/responsibilities is our chance during the week to refresh ourselves.  This will get more complicated when we do presentations at churches and home groups on Sundays or ultimately when we (eventually) return to Tanzania.  Church there-- in our second language and in a culture that is often tiring to us-- is not restful.  And yet it's important to be part of the local community, so what do we do?  Those are questions for another day, but perhaps there are options to take a different day or to alternate in some way between Saturdays/Sundays or whatever.  But they're important things to consider to protect our family from burnout

I ran across this post that blessed me so much and made me thankful to know that I'm not the only one asking these questions.  Is it better to burn out than to rust out?  What do you think?  Is that just another area where we are too culturally biased to see what Scripture so clearly teaches?  In our experience, it is true that burnout is a very real thing among missionaries.  I would say that it is more disruptive to missions when missionaries don't take care of themselves.  The chances of them burning out or getting sick (many sicknesses are brought on in times of high stress) at the most inopportune times are high. 

A few weeks ago, God comforted me through the story of Elijah in 1 Kings 18-19.  After defeating the prophets of Baal on Mt Carmel, Elijah was exhausted.  Jezebel sent men to kill him, and Elijah was alone, afraid, depressed, and exhausted.  He wanted to die and was in need of deep Rest.  What blesses me most about this story is how tender the Lord is to Elijah in his time of need.  He came to Elijah.  He sent him food and water (physical needs).  He gave him time and opportunity to talk about why he was tired and depressed (emotional needs).  And then God Himself met him there (spiritual needs).  I love knowing that I serve the same God and that He also cares about my physical, emotional and spiritual needs/rest! 

-JLR

Meet Alexis

This morning, Alexis got out of bed promptly at 7am.  She went out for a morning walk, came back, showered, did her morning devotions, and made a nice breakfast for her family.  She looked radiant and yet understated in her freshly laundered, trendy clothes.  Her makeup brought out her natural beauty without looking gaudy or overdone.  The truth is, Alexis could go without makeup and be just fine. 

By 9am, Alexis had finished her morning chores (kitchen clean, beds made, etc.) as well as her "chore of the day"... today it was sweeping and scrubbing the floors.  She was ready to start homeschooling her daughter and had already prepared an extra craft and science activity that they would start on their morning break.  School began promptly at 9 with a cheerful attitude and big smile.  What exciting things would they learn today!?

Alexis is not quite real, if you hadn't guessed.  She's my alter-ego and the personification of my mental "shoulds" list.  She's all the things I want for myself but don't have the time or energy to actually have.  She is who I picture as the perfect wife and mom.  She bears an unreasonable load of responsibilities-- at home, at school, in the ministry, in her friendships, in her marriage, as a parent... I think you get the picture.  She never seems overly stressed, either.  She takes it all in stride and holds up well.  Others think she's amazing.  And she is.  She's a dream and yet I despise her.  She's TOO perfect.  So perfect that I could never be like that in a million years.  I've tried, but it's not possible.  I don't have enough time or energy to be like Alexis.  So I've decided that she must live here on my blog from now on. 

The real Jeana got out of bed at 8:30 this morning, stumbled into the shower, made breakfast and finally told M to turn the am cartoons off at 9:30.  No makeup.  No hairstyle.  It's Wednesday, after all, and I have no one to impress.  It's 10:15 and we have yet to start homeschool for the day, but will hopefully get to it soon.  My kitchen is a wreck and my floors are definitely not scrubbed!  But that's ok.  I'm more real this way.  And I will get to those things in time.  Right now there are more important things to do... things like drinking a cuppa tea and rejecting all those "shoulds" that I feel piled on my shoulders.  Because today is a new day and my name is Jeana, not Alexis.

-JLR
ps... Alexis is not named after anyone I know nor is she based on anyone I know... unless of course you count the perfect, idealized expectations I have for myself.

Birthday Fun!

This past week has been birthday week in the Roth house!  Micaiah is now a big 6 year-old! 

I have been super-impressed with the gifts she's gotten this year.  If you know me well, you know how irritated I tend to get when people give us or Micaiah big, bulky, or unwanted gifts.  Don't get me wrong-- I appreciate the generosity very much.  But at the same time, we travel a lot, so such gifts tend to be impractical.  Not to mention the constant sorting and paring down we do of the toy-bin.  And I am the one who has to tell her that she can't keep it all.  She just doesn't need so much stuff.  None of us do, really.  Back to the point... I have been really impressed by her birthday gifts this year!  She got a new Bible (that we asked for), paints/paper, doodle/logic books, a Webkinz, books, a savings bond, a certificate for a "fun outing," a dvd, new rain boots, and her ears pierced (our gift to her).  What a great variety! 

Thanks to all who have sent/given such thoughtful gifts that still keep in mind the nomadic lifestyle we live.  I appreciate you more than you can know!!!

-JLR

Freedom

I used to think that freedom in Christ-- when it came to food-- meant that I could eat whatever I wanted.  In this process to get my body back in order, my doctor has also recommended a few very specific dietary changes to go with my supplements.  These include switching to a more whole foods diet, cutting sugar (as much as possible), cutting processed foods (completely, if possible), eating protein (eggs) with vegetables as breakfast, and reducing gluten and dairy intake.  For someone who grew up thinking that vegetables were mostly garnish on the plate, this is a completely new way of thinking.  I had patterns of eating that were largely carb-heavy-- breads, pastas, potatoes, etc.  A few weeks ago a friend emailed me in response to an email about this and said that she is praying, "that this will be an exercise in freedom for you in that you will feel the freedom to not choose what you crave but what you know is good for you."  Woah!  I had always claimed 1 Corinthians 8 as Biblical proof that we can eat whatever we want and not have dietary restrictions!  Is that the wrong way to look at the passage?  Here it is so you can read it again, too:  

So then, about eating food sacrificed to idols: We know that an idol is nothing at all in the world and that there is no God but one.  For even if there are so-called gods, whether in heaven or on earth (as indeed there are many "gods" and many "lords"),  yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom all things came and for whom we live; and there is but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and through whom we live.   But not everyone knows this. Some people are still so accustomed to idols that when they eat such food they think of it as having been sacrificed to an idol, and since their conscience is weak, it is defiled.  But food does not bring us near to God; we are no worse if we do not eat, and no better if we do.  Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak.  For if anyone with a weak conscience sees you who have this knowledge eating in an idol's temple, won't he be emboldened to eat what has been sacrificed to idols?  So this weak brother, for whom Christ died, is destroyed by your knowledge.  When you sin against your brothers in this way and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ.  Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause him to fall.  1 Corinthians 8:4-13

So what I'm learning and praying about now is that God would free me from my food addictions.  I hope that in eating this way I can be mastered by nothing-- not even food!-- and that I can use food instead as fuel for my body.  If that means completely revamping my diet, then so be it!  If that means cutting out the foods I think I want more than anything else, then God, I pray for the grace I need to get through those cravings!  

So the new verse I'm clinging to (as I still figure out 1 Cor 8!) is 1 Corinthians 6:12: "Everything is permissible for me"-- but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"-- but I will not be mastered by anything.

Now, just keep me away from those Timbits!  :)

-JLR

Hypocrite

Do you ever have moments when you realize how much of a hypocrite you really are?  As I indulged in three Timbits (donut holes) from Tim Hortons this morning, I realized that all that I've ever said about my recently acquired healthy-eating goals can fly right out the window when I taste that glaze and the donut melts in my mouth... yeah, I still like fat and sugar.  :)

-JLR

Judgmentalism

So while I am under-impressed at the amount of blog hits I've gotten from my "controversy" blog post, I press on in my new quest for being more authentic in my posting.  As I've already hinted, I have a few things on my mind about Rob Bell fiasco.  If you're not familiar with the story, I think this post that appeared last week in the Huffington Post is a good summary and I will also summarize a bit here for the sake of context.  Basically, Rob Bell (a leader of the emergence movement, who also appears in the Nooma video series) is releasing a book later in March called "Love Wins."  From his publicity video (view here) you get the sense that he may be challenging some of the fundamentals of the Christian faith and is possibly dancing around universalism-- the all people regardless of whether they put their faith in Jesus can go to heaven. 

One thing I love about Rob Bell is that he isn't afraid to ask the hard questions.  Regardless of any doctrinal positions he holds, what I find refreshing is his uncanny ability to articulate the questions people are really asking (or not asking, for that matter).  We watched several of the Nooma videos in our small group last year and he doesn’t actually come out and tell the answers most of the time.  It takes a lot of discipline to take those issues back to Scripture and figure out what the Bible does teach.  Still, I think a lot of people misinterpret his questions as being leading questions or rhetorical questions when he’s just trying to expose more sides to an issue. 

I love Piper as well.  He's one of my all-time favorite pastors and I've heard him preach in person as well as in numerous sermons from his amazing website.  He responded to some of the initial publicity about Bell's book with a tweet, "farewell Rob Bell."  Or so I've read.  I'm not on twitter, so I actually don't even know this for sure.  But it seems fairly undisputed on the web and we all know that anything on the internet is complete truth (*insert sarcasm here*).

Anyway... I still haven't gotten to my point, which is:  I wonder what the book is about.  I will probably read it, but as I speculate on what sort of issue Bell could be addressing, I have to wonder whether it's judgmentalism itself.  We judge people all the time.  We all like to think that we have a right or even a responsibility to judge others.  There's probably even some truth in that.  In Matthew 7, Jesus talks about removing the plank from your own eye so that you can remove the speck from your brother’s eye (Matthew 7:5, italics mine).  So there is a very real sense in which we are supposed to be judging others.  But how and why and for what purpose?  Is there any context in which I can judge a person's eternal destiny?  Is it even possible for anyone other than God to do that? 

We can only judge the fruit from the tree, so to speak.  If the fruit is good, then the tree is good and if the fruit is bad, then the tree is bad (Matthew 7).  But what about the scenario with the criminal on the cross?  Jesus told the repentant criminal that he would be with Him in paradise (Luke 23:43).  Is there any fruit in that man's life that would suggest that he was going to heaven?  No, I would say not, unless maybe someone was eavesdropping on this conversation.  Jesus judged him.  And his judgment was that this man’s heart had changed and Jesus assured him that he was headed for paradise.   

I guess my question is whether reserving God's right to judge people is the same as holding to Universalism?  And if asking these questions is a way of understanding God and His character better, then is it wrong to be asking the questions in the first place?   

You know, if Bell’s book IS about judgmentalism, I have a sneaking suspicion that this might be a ploy to get a lot of interest generated about his new book… it has definitely caught my attention!

-JLR