Too Busy To Worry

My apologies for the lack of posts in the past few weeks.  It wasn't because there wasn't anything going on here-- in fact, quite the opposite!  We'd finish each day and just collapse into bed so it could start again the next day.

I've been meditating on the passage from Matthew 6 and particularly this verse: "Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Indeed it does!  For the first time in my life, I have actually realized that I am too busy to worry.  Over the course of the last few weeks, I have come to expect that each "tomorrow" will be a challenge.  Not only does worry not accomplish anything positive, but I'm stealing the energy God has given me to deal with each "today."  I'm a natural worrier, so this is a big lesson that God has been teaching me!

Anyway, here's the brief version of the past few weeks to get you caught up:
Oct 9 (when I last posted)-19-- we moved from the guesthouse into the Langs' home.  We stayed there with them and helped them with a number of home-improvement projects such as putting screens on their front and back security doors to keep mosquitoes and flies out.  We (as in both families together) got into routines of cooking, cleaning, securing the house, talking with various fundis ("experts" in various things like plumbing, carpentry, electricity, etc.) to arrange improvements and repairs.  Oh, and many of us got sick with a nasty virus during this stretch, so were out of commission for 2-4 days at a time.  Thankfully Jamie didn't get it and was able to continue preparing food for the gang!

Oct 20-- our friend Jeremy was airlifted from Mpanda to Nairobi for emergency medical treatment.  He had been very sick for the 20 hours or so leading up to his med-evacuation.  Jamie and Lily (their youngest) went with him.

Oct 20-26-- We stayed in Mpanda at the Lang's house with Junio and Annabelle (their two oldest kids).  We had our moments of frustration during this time for sure-- like that Saturday when we had a crew working on the perimeter wall, a crew working on installing 2 western toilets, and the plumber who was overseeing the toilets and also working on other plumbing jobs.  Tim left at several points to get additional plumbing supplies in town and to work on negotiations for our new house.  We somehow kept all this organized along with managing the usual househelper and keeping the kiddos fed and entertained.... I didn't think I'd make it through that day!  But we did.  (ok, so I did break down at least twice during the day, but was better each time after a good cry...)  The downside to having the toilets installed to replace the squatty potties was that the cement needed 4 days to dry and we'd need to use the outhouse during that time!  Bummer!  (btw, it is probably the nicest outhouse I've ever used, but it's still inconvenient to make potty runs outside, especially with three kiddos and when mosquitoes are out late at night!)

Oct 26-- Jamie and Lily returned to Mpanda by a small chartered AIM flight. 

Oct 27-- We woke up to chaos-- the guard outside had chased off three (or more?) thieves.  One had distracted him by throwing rocks at the gate while others hopped over the wall and took some plastic chairs that were outside.  They got away.  We heard later that it was probably young troublemakers who had "hit the neighborhood" and stolen several things from other yards as well.  It took us some time to review our security plan and make sure we were as safe as possible.

Oct 31-- We finished moving things into our new house and spent the first night there.

Since then we have been settling in, unpacking, having fundis come to work on electricity, plumbing, blender repair (a priority so I can have my morning kefir shakes!!), and other various things.  I have been training a new househelper who may or may not work out for us... it depends on how this week (her second week) goes!  We'll just have to wait and see.  But for now things are starting to slow down and we're able to get back into some routines.  Routines keep me sane, after all and bring a much-welcomed structure to my schedule.

Speaking of structure, time to get back to homeschool with Micaiah. :)

-JLR

Psalm 42

 ¹ As the deer pants for streams of water,
   so my soul pants for you, my God.
² My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
   When can I go and meet with God?
³ My tears have been my food
   day and night,
while people say to me all day long,
   “Where is your God?”
⁴ These things I remember
   as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go to the house of God
   under the protection of the Mighty One^[d]
with shouts of joy and praise
   among the festive throng.
 ⁵ Why, my soul, are you downcast?
   Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
   for I will yet praise him,
   my Savior and my God.
 ⁶ My soul is downcast within me;
   therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
   the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.
⁷ Deep calls to deep
   in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
   have swept over me.
 ⁸ By day the LORD directs his love,
   at night his song is with me—
   a prayer to the God of my life.
 ⁹ I say to God my Rock,
   “Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
   oppressed by the enemy?”
¹⁰ My bones suffer mortal agony
   as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
   “Where is your God?”
 ¹¹ Why, my soul, are you downcast?
   Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
   for I will yet praise him,
   my Savior and my God.

Good Deeds

Why do I do the things I do?  I mean really.  I often tell myself that I do things for God, but maybe I'm deceiving myself.  ??

Part of the Sermon on the Mount describes how we should pray and that we should do it privately.  I started reading this passage a couple days ago after Micaiah announced at bedtime that she wanted to learn how to pray longer in front of other people.  She loves talking to God when she's by herself, but has trouble when others are around. Part of me was like, "oh, ok-- that's a good thing to learn," while the other part of me sent up very clear red flags... so we found this passage and began to teach Micaiah about the Sermon on the Mount.  In it, Jesus taught people that there is so much more to obeying the law than the Pharisees would ever admit.  In fact, it's not about rules and legalism, it's about love and grace... the Sermon on the Mount must have convicted all of its listeners that they, too, were in need of a Savior. 

I don't want to teach my daughter legalism in place of true faith! 

So we talked about how what she does in talking with God is actually better than praying in front of other people. This whole line of thinking has sparked a deeper thread in my mind... I think that one of the parts of the Sermon on the Mount that challenges me most is the passage in Matthew 6 that talks about 'acts of righteousness'-- all those good deeds I love to do. 

Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.   Matthew 6:1 

So I was examining my heart and wondered how I would feel if I were never acknowledged or thanked for any good deed I did.  Surely we're intended to thank each other and encourage each other with our words, but my sneaking suspicion is that somewhere along the line I started to crave the encouragement/thanks of man over the encouragement/thanks of my Father in heaven.  And when I start to think that way, all those "good deeds" don't seem so good anymore... they seem tainted by my selfishness and pride.  I'm learning more and more how I need Him each day more than ever!  I can identify with Paul when he writes that he is the "chief of sinners"... (1 Tim 1:15). 

Nothing like a good sober look at who I really am to burst my pride bubble...

-JLR

Joy

That little three-letter word has cropped up a lot this past week.... 

A few weeks back I started a new (to me) Beth Moore Bible study called Living Beyond Yourself: Exploring the Fruit of the Spirit.  The whole point of it is that the fruit of the spirit is from God and not from ourselves.  I can't try harder to achieve them unless by that I mean that I'm seeking more intimacy with God so that the spirit is uninhibited in my life.  This week we're talking about JOY.  I'm a melancholy person by nature and I tend to be more sad than happy.  I bristle at those who are "happy-clappy" as Tim and I like to call it.  Not that being happy-clappy is bad, but it's just foreign to me.  What I'm learning now is that joy is different.  It is not about putting on a smiling face and jumping up and down... it's about being lifted from the inside!  As I sat in thankfulness for my salvation and for all of the things I enjoy about God-- His faithfulness, His persistence, His pursuit of me, His generosity, His tenderness, and intimate connection with Him-- I was overwhelmed by this lightness that overcame me!  And then I read this line:

"Lord Jesus, teach us to enjoy YOU and revel in your great salvation even when difficulty surrounds us."

I know difficulty.  I know stress and transition and fear... but do I know JOY in those times?  The answer is often no, unfortunately.  But I have hope that maybe this time it will be different.  Maybe this time I will be walking so closely to God that our transitions will not be something to endure but a time of overflowing JOY in my life, family, and ministry... at least that's what I'm praying for.

In other news, Micaiah packed up her clothes today.  I didn't have the heart to tell her that we don't leave for another 13 days, so she'll have to unpack tomorrow to find something to wear... time to go look through our Third Culture Kids book (again!!) and figure out how to help her build a R.A.F.T.... (don't know what I'm talking about??  stay tuned to a future day's blog about the R.A.F.T. model of healthy transitions!)

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  Against such things there is no law. --Galatians 5:22-23

-JLR

Rest

I have been dealing with really low energy levels for a long time now.  While I've finally gotten a working diagnosis (CFS) and am working with my naturopathic doctor on some factors she thinks contribute to it (sub-clinical hypothyroidism, adrenal burnout, progesterone deficiency, and iron-deficient anemia), I still have much more to learn.  We wore ourselves out on our first term serving in Tanzania.  I did way too much and my stress levels were way too high for far too long.  So long in fact that it wore out my adrenal glands!  It's more than just being tired, my body (stress hormones in particular) literally burned itself out.

Biblical, Sabbath rest is something I've been meditating on for a while now.  What can we do to live healthier, more balanced lives both here and in TZ?  We've been trying to focus more on Sabbath rest as one aspect of that balance.  We've been more diligent about our Sabbath Rest for several months now and we're trying to really guard our time as much as possible.  The trick has been resting from the activities that make us tired and that we do throughout the week.  For me that's cooking, cleaning, homeschooling Micaiah, email, facebook, and all the other ways that I correspond with our friends/family/partnership team on a regular basis.  But we still need to eat, so how legalistic should I be?  It was helpful to remember that the Sabbath is a gift.  "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath." (Mark 2:27)  So it's not about keeping the law, it's about resting and doing what is best for me and my body.  So we still eat on Sundays, though our food is a lot simpler (cereal, sandwiches, leftovers, etc.) and takes a lot less time/energy to prepare.  We just try to keep in mind that the day we take away from work/responsibilities is our chance during the week to refresh ourselves.  This will get more complicated when we do presentations at churches and home groups on Sundays or ultimately when we (eventually) return to Tanzania.  Church there-- in our second language and in a culture that is often tiring to us-- is not restful.  And yet it's important to be part of the local community, so what do we do?  Those are questions for another day, but perhaps there are options to take a different day or to alternate in some way between Saturdays/Sundays or whatever.  But they're important things to consider to protect our family from burnout

I ran across this post that blessed me so much and made me thankful to know that I'm not the only one asking these questions.  Is it better to burn out than to rust out?  What do you think?  Is that just another area where we are too culturally biased to see what Scripture so clearly teaches?  In our experience, it is true that burnout is a very real thing among missionaries.  I would say that it is more disruptive to missions when missionaries don't take care of themselves.  The chances of them burning out or getting sick (many sicknesses are brought on in times of high stress) at the most inopportune times are high. 

A few weeks ago, God comforted me through the story of Elijah in 1 Kings 18-19.  After defeating the prophets of Baal on Mt Carmel, Elijah was exhausted.  Jezebel sent men to kill him, and Elijah was alone, afraid, depressed, and exhausted.  He wanted to die and was in need of deep Rest.  What blesses me most about this story is how tender the Lord is to Elijah in his time of need.  He came to Elijah.  He sent him food and water (physical needs).  He gave him time and opportunity to talk about why he was tired and depressed (emotional needs).  And then God Himself met him there (spiritual needs).  I love knowing that I serve the same God and that He also cares about my physical, emotional and spiritual needs/rest! 

-JLR

Freedom

I used to think that freedom in Christ-- when it came to food-- meant that I could eat whatever I wanted.  In this process to get my body back in order, my doctor has also recommended a few very specific dietary changes to go with my supplements.  These include switching to a more whole foods diet, cutting sugar (as much as possible), cutting processed foods (completely, if possible), eating protein (eggs) with vegetables as breakfast, and reducing gluten and dairy intake.  For someone who grew up thinking that vegetables were mostly garnish on the plate, this is a completely new way of thinking.  I had patterns of eating that were largely carb-heavy-- breads, pastas, potatoes, etc.  A few weeks ago a friend emailed me in response to an email about this and said that she is praying, "that this will be an exercise in freedom for you in that you will feel the freedom to not choose what you crave but what you know is good for you."  Woah!  I had always claimed 1 Corinthians 8 as Biblical proof that we can eat whatever we want and not have dietary restrictions!  Is that the wrong way to look at the passage?  Here it is so you can read it again, too:  

So then, about eating food sacrificed to idols: We know that an idol is nothing at all in the world and that there is no God but one.  For even if there are so-called gods, whether in heaven or on earth (as indeed there are many "gods" and many "lords"),  yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom all things came and for whom we live; and there is but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and through whom we live.   But not everyone knows this. Some people are still so accustomed to idols that when they eat such food they think of it as having been sacrificed to an idol, and since their conscience is weak, it is defiled.  But food does not bring us near to God; we are no worse if we do not eat, and no better if we do.  Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak.  For if anyone with a weak conscience sees you who have this knowledge eating in an idol's temple, won't he be emboldened to eat what has been sacrificed to idols?  So this weak brother, for whom Christ died, is destroyed by your knowledge.  When you sin against your brothers in this way and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ.  Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause him to fall.  1 Corinthians 8:4-13

So what I'm learning and praying about now is that God would free me from my food addictions.  I hope that in eating this way I can be mastered by nothing-- not even food!-- and that I can use food instead as fuel for my body.  If that means completely revamping my diet, then so be it!  If that means cutting out the foods I think I want more than anything else, then God, I pray for the grace I need to get through those cravings!  

So the new verse I'm clinging to (as I still figure out 1 Cor 8!) is 1 Corinthians 6:12: "Everything is permissible for me"-- but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"-- but I will not be mastered by anything.

Now, just keep me away from those Timbits!  :)

-JLR

Judgmentalism

So while I am under-impressed at the amount of blog hits I've gotten from my "controversy" blog post, I press on in my new quest for being more authentic in my posting.  As I've already hinted, I have a few things on my mind about Rob Bell fiasco.  If you're not familiar with the story, I think this post that appeared last week in the Huffington Post is a good summary and I will also summarize a bit here for the sake of context.  Basically, Rob Bell (a leader of the emergence movement, who also appears in the Nooma video series) is releasing a book later in March called "Love Wins."  From his publicity video (view here) you get the sense that he may be challenging some of the fundamentals of the Christian faith and is possibly dancing around universalism-- the all people regardless of whether they put their faith in Jesus can go to heaven. 

One thing I love about Rob Bell is that he isn't afraid to ask the hard questions.  Regardless of any doctrinal positions he holds, what I find refreshing is his uncanny ability to articulate the questions people are really asking (or not asking, for that matter).  We watched several of the Nooma videos in our small group last year and he doesn’t actually come out and tell the answers most of the time.  It takes a lot of discipline to take those issues back to Scripture and figure out what the Bible does teach.  Still, I think a lot of people misinterpret his questions as being leading questions or rhetorical questions when he’s just trying to expose more sides to an issue. 

I love Piper as well.  He's one of my all-time favorite pastors and I've heard him preach in person as well as in numerous sermons from his amazing website.  He responded to some of the initial publicity about Bell's book with a tweet, "farewell Rob Bell."  Or so I've read.  I'm not on twitter, so I actually don't even know this for sure.  But it seems fairly undisputed on the web and we all know that anything on the internet is complete truth (*insert sarcasm here*).

Anyway... I still haven't gotten to my point, which is:  I wonder what the book is about.  I will probably read it, but as I speculate on what sort of issue Bell could be addressing, I have to wonder whether it's judgmentalism itself.  We judge people all the time.  We all like to think that we have a right or even a responsibility to judge others.  There's probably even some truth in that.  In Matthew 7, Jesus talks about removing the plank from your own eye so that you can remove the speck from your brother’s eye (Matthew 7:5, italics mine).  So there is a very real sense in which we are supposed to be judging others.  But how and why and for what purpose?  Is there any context in which I can judge a person's eternal destiny?  Is it even possible for anyone other than God to do that? 

We can only judge the fruit from the tree, so to speak.  If the fruit is good, then the tree is good and if the fruit is bad, then the tree is bad (Matthew 7).  But what about the scenario with the criminal on the cross?  Jesus told the repentant criminal that he would be with Him in paradise (Luke 23:43).  Is there any fruit in that man's life that would suggest that he was going to heaven?  No, I would say not, unless maybe someone was eavesdropping on this conversation.  Jesus judged him.  And his judgment was that this man’s heart had changed and Jesus assured him that he was headed for paradise.   

I guess my question is whether reserving God's right to judge people is the same as holding to Universalism?  And if asking these questions is a way of understanding God and His character better, then is it wrong to be asking the questions in the first place?   

You know, if Bell’s book IS about judgmentalism, I have a sneaking suspicion that this might be a ploy to get a lot of interest generated about his new book… it has definitely caught my attention!

-JLR

On Second Thought...

Joy is not working out for me today. The aftermath of all that's happened in the past week has been more than I can bear emotionally and I'm completely broken. I'm struggling with panic, fear, and stress that doesn't seem to go away no matter how hard I pray, breathe, or talk things through! I suppose it's normal to have good days and bad days, but sheesh.

Yesterday we heard a really good sermon on undeserved grace. I know the point was probably for us to realize how much we need God's grace, but instead God drove home the point that I need to forgive the person or people who broke into our home. I've been shown so much grace and God has loved me since before I did anything good... shouldn't I be an agent of that grace to others? Even if they aren't deserving? (who is deserving, anyway?)
"But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions-- it is by grace you have been saved. --Ephesians 2:4
I made a first step toward forgiveness, but I know that it's probably not as simple as saying "I forgive them" once. I expect that it will come up over and over as I realize just how much I'm actually forgiving them for.

Am I alone? Has anyone out there had to forgive someone for something that seemed unforgivable or for something that was still producing negative effects? I'd love to hear some other thoughts on this.

-JLR

Neck Pain part 2

The pain described in my last post has not gone away. Today is day 18 of my pain and despite my desperate prayers for relief this morning (I was thinking, "wouldn't it be great if God gave me HEALING for my birthday this year??"), I'm still in pain. The pain has definitely diminished. I've been doing physiotherapy and every day I do most of those exercises at home (the ones that don't require equipment). My back is getting stronger, for sure, but I'm still not out of the woods.

The biggest problem for me is the persistent, nagging pain. I can handle pain for a while, but long-term pain has been a real challenge. I wish I could say that I've stood firm(ly?), but the truth is that some days I'm hardly standing at all. Or I'm standing without the victory of a positive, hope-filled attitude. I've been almost afraid to blog about it because I'm never sure if my real feelings-- the raw truth-- will come out and everyone will know what a bad Christian/Missionary I really am. But maybe that's not an entirely bad thing.

A friend sent me a sermon a couple weeks back and I've listened to it several times now. It combines prayer (particularly the "give us this day our daily bread" concept) and the verses I've been meditating on from Isaiah (see below). Which of these three do you think is most impressive?

1. soar on wings like eagles
2. run and not grow weary
3. walk and not be faint (not fall over)

The point this pastor made was that the real miracle in these verses and the climax of the passage in the Hebrew poetry is #3. Taking one step at a time without falling over is the real goal of trusting and hoping in the Lord. I'm there. Well, I hope I'm there anyway. I don't feel like I'm getting very far-- and I'm definitely not soaring or running!-- but each day I get up and don't completely curse God for this pain and these trials, I guess I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. It still doesn't feel like a miracle.

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40: 28-31

-JLR

What a Pain in the Neck

This week I've been dealing with a whole host of issues in my neck and upper back.

1. Pinched nerve. Man oh man, do these hurt!
2. Two vertebrae (C7 and L3) that weren't "moving," which led to..
3. Muscle spasms and knots
4. My 2nd rib out of place
5. Not being able to sleep for more than 1.5-2 hours at a time and using Aleve as a crutch 24 hours a day (I'm not a big fan of painkillers, so this is big).

I like to think that I have a high threshold of pain, but I don't know that I can boast of that any longer. I was comparing it to childbirth pain only worse, because I didn't know when/if it would ever end!

I am so thankful for my friend and her husband. They have been real agents of healing and change in my life anyway, and now Dave (who's a physiotherapist) has given me two treatments to help deal with all of the above.

I know that my love for God should never be conditional upon my circumstances, but sometimes when God moves, I can't help but say thanks. God has provided healing (we'll see how I'm doing in the morning!). God has provided people who care. God has provided a couple who are helping me get the physical and emotional healing I need so that we can return to doing what He's called us to do in Tanzania. God has been so present and almost tangible as He pours out His love... so I think what started out being the biggest pain in my neck this week (literally and figuratively) is now my biggest cause for praise.

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40: 28-31

-JLR

Diarrhea of the Mouth

Have you ever felt this way? Like any and all attempts to hold in your words were absolutely futile? I've been feeling like that a lot the past few weeks. Typically it is in relation to culture. I can't for some reason talk about the differences between cultures without imposing judgment and negativity on one side or the other... take Halloween candy, for example. Last year we were completely thrown off-guard that Halloween candy was so different here in BC. It turns out that there is more influence from the UK, so there are more Cadbury products (and other companies, maybe??) and "weird" things like CoffeeCrisp, CrispyCrunch, Wonderbar, Aero, Caramilk and Smarties (the chocolate M&M-esque kind). They're not our favorites, but not because they are inherently BAD... they're just DIFFERENT from what we grew up with. Our tastes are more accustomed to Reeses, KitKat (even the KitKats here taste different bc they are from a different chocolate company), Snickers, Milky Way, 3 Musketeers, M&Ms, Hershey's, etc, etc, etc.

Anyway, the point I'm trying to make (and maybe not succeeding at...) is that I don't know how to process those and other differences without imposing judgment. Most of the time I just keep it in or talk about them with a few select people who know about my lack of a filter when I'm processing externally. But is that really better? James 3 talks about the tongue as a rudder and how it directs us to where we will go. It also says that it is impossible to tame the tongue. That's probably because the tongue only exposes what is already in our hearts. Matthew 12:34-36 is pretty clear about how it is because of what is in our hearts that we say what we say. But doesn't the Sermon on the Mount take all of those things to a heart level? If we hold them in our hearts but never speak on them, is it any better? Won't they come out in some way or another? The truth is, I think part of me resents the fact that I'm always the one caught between cultures. It's hard being a cross-cultural worker and always having to fit in with the host culture. Especially when every time I give up a bit of my own culture, I fit in less in the US when we're back! Why is it always me that has to change? If I keep changing, how will I ever know who the real ME is?? It's pretty draining. But if we're going to keep living the nomadic lifestyle we're living (Canada, Tanzania, wherever), I'm going to have to get at the roots of what is causing me to have diarrhea of the mouth... and for some reason stopping it up (think verbal Immodium) is not really going to fix the real problem. :)

-JLR

Hockey

Canadians LOVE the Olympics and they LOVE hockey. I wish I had kept track of how many hockey references I've heard in church even... and now that fans from across the country have united to root for one team, I think it's worse. There have been quite a few uncomfortable moments for me as an American who doesn't much care for hockey!

I know it's borderline sacrilegious to say this-- especially considering our proximity to Vancouver-- but I'm tired of the Olympics. It's all anyone can talk about! In some circles there seems to be a thin line between the Olympics and idol worship. I should be clear here, because I am in NO WAY saying that everyone who enjoys the Olympics or watches the Olympics is in sin. I've watched several events myself and enjoyed them. I am only saying that like anything else, the Olympics can be a stumbling block between us and our God. And I do wish the church used the opportunity to speak more to the parallel between the physical games and the spiritual training we undergo to attain eternal rewards. This verse has been on my mind continually this past week or so:

Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 1 Corinthians 9:25

So let's just all keep a little perspective.

-JLR
ps.. the thought crossed my mind that maybe I should root for Canada in hockey this year... when in Rome... :)

The Provider

Hearing the same message in different places three times in one week warrants a blog post. It's easy to think that since I don't have much in monetary terms, that it isn't possible to have an obsession with money. But honestly the heart behind the matter is that whether I have much or little, God cares about how I handle whatever He has given me. I try to stockpile what I have in the bank only to incur unexpected expenses or emergencies that require me to spend that money... it frustrates me incredibly that I only ever have exactly the right amount at only the exactly right time. But on the flip side, I have EXACTLY THE RIGHT AMOUNT AT THE EXACTLY RIGHT TIME!!! I have been looking at these things all wrong and God is in the process of flipping my mindset upside down.

As we study the road to the tabernacle in the Beth Moore study I'm doing at church, I am reminded of the Israelites in the desert. How God provided food for them EACH DAY. They were not able to store it because God wanted more than their provision-- He wanted their hearts and He wanted them to be obedient to Him and to rely on Him alone. I am no better and must learn to come to the water each and every day to receive my daily bread.

As vain as this might seem, one thing that hit me most in this study was that God also provided for their clothing.

"Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years." (Deut 8:4) and "During the forty years that I led you through the desert, your clothes did not wear out, nor did the sandals on your feet." (Deut 29:5)

Amazing... He truly is the Provider. He has proven His trustworthiness over and over and despite my thick skull, has patiently called me time after time to give my heart fully to Him.

--JLR

Food for Thought

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these He has given us His very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. 2 Peter 1:3-4

I have been meditating on this verse and trying to commit it to memory (something I don't do often enough!). I think I usually tend to be providence-heavy as opposed to choice-heavy in my theology, but this verse seems to have a thought-provoking combination of the two.

JLR