Building a RAFT

If you've been around the world of missions for long, you've probably heard the term RAFT in connection with healthy transitions.  We first heard this term in our orientation and were really able to understand it more in reading Third Culture Kids: The Experience of Growing Up Among Worlds by David C. Pollock and Ruth E. Van Reken, published by Intercultural Press. The book is an amazing resource if you have TCKs and haven't already read and memorized everything in it!

We've been using the RAFT model during this transition.  RAFT stands for:

Reconciliation

Affirmation

Farewells

Think Destination

I can summarize on my own, but since my own copy of TCK is currently packed in a box in our garage awaiting our journey back to Missouri, I will instead point to this great blog from another Member Care worker in Japan who summarizes each step very well.  

As we've been working through RAFT for this transition, I was most confused by the "Think Destination" step.  I understand that we're leaving Canada and that we need to tie up loose ends here.  But it's hard to think about whether we're preparing ourselves for Missouri or for Tanzania.  Will our RAFT last through 3 (or so) months of transitions?  Or do we build two (or more!) different RAFTs?  We've done a bit of both, but I expect that may be more confusing than it needs to be.  Surely this isn't an uncommon thing, so if anyone has any ideas, we're very open to them!  

Maybe I need to develop a HOUSE-BOAT model...

-JLR

Real Canadian?

The Canucks won the conference semi-finals today!  Woohoo!  We got to watch the game with some good friends and even learned a new bit of hockey strategy.  It was a play that doesn't come up all that often and I know I won't be able to explain it well, but it has to do with the time between when a penalty is called and when the whistle is blown to stop play.  Anyway, that's not important right now.

What would it take to become Canadian?  Apart from a Canadian passport, of course.  See, I would really love to become Canadian.  I love it here!  And I hope we get the opportunity to return to BC sometime in the future.  But even after living here for two years, I still struggle to understand what makes Canadians culturally Canadian.  Surely there's more than just being 'nice' and eating lots of back bacon and maple syrup, right?  (which I've yet to actually eat in the company of a real Canadian, by the way...)  In my mind I'm trying to pinpoint the things that make Canadians unique on a slightly deeper level than what we eat. 

My first real clue is in regard to hockey.  There is something to this sport that is so Canadian in my mind. Kids play hockey with their dads on the street in the same way American kids/dads play catch in the backyard.  Hockey is the Canadian past-time in the same way that Baseball seems to be the American past-time.

Much to think about and now a poll to anyone who reads this... what do you think makes a Canadian a Canadian?  (feel free to specify a particular province, too-- I expect there's a lot of differences according to region!  Both E/W and N/S might have many differences!)

-JLR

14 Days To Go

Today was a bit better emotionally.  Still many tears, but there were lots of practical things to keep my hands busy.  That gives my mind (and my tear-ful eyes!) a bit of a break from thinking too much.  As we're now in the final two weeks (!!!), we will start packing things up bit by bit until we've pulled all of our personal stuff out of this place and it becomes merely a guesthouse.  I'm kicking myself that I didn't take more pictures of the inside the way we had it set up.   

We spent some time packing up Micaiah's room this afternoon.  Her attitude was beyond amazing.  There were things that she definitely wanted to keep, but so many others that she was willing to let go.  I kept hearing her say, "I think my friend, ______, would really like this... it would help them remember me."  Oh sweet girl!  Like anyone could ever forget you! 

And yet, I think that's my fear, too.  Being forgotten.  Out of sight, out of mind.  Funny how something as "simple" as an international move brings such deep fears to the surface. 

We also watched Les Miserables this evening.  I've known the general outline of the story, but had never read the book or watched the movie.  (I know!  Shame on me, right?)  I was stunned by the depth of the characters and humbled by the example of mercy.  And the story so naturally translates to spiritual truths...I've been bought at a very high price... do I pour that love onto others as well?  Or do I judge them with the law?  Does the fruit of the spirit in me show that I am a changed woman?  Such good questions to think about. 

-JLR

My Little Tantrum

But I don't want to leave Langley! 

I know, I know... I sound like a two year-old.  But that doesn't change the fact that the past two years have held some of my fondest memories, my closest friendships, and one of the healthiest seasons that my little family of three has ever had, spiritually and emotionally.  Physically we've had our battles, but the access to amazing healthcare (ie: my naturopathic doctor and our TWU clinic doctor, who knows us by name!) has been so stellar that even that has been a blessing!  We have incredible friends, we have a terrific church, we have valuable work and roles here.  And now it's time to move on.  I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt.  It hurts a lot.  It makes me sob and cry out, "Why God, why!?!" 

"Because you're not done, Jeana.  There's still work to do."  I know this.  And in one sense I am excited and eager to get back to this work and to our new home in Tanzania.  But in another very real sense, this sucks!  The emotional stress of frequent goodbyes and international moves is by far my least favorite part of being a missionary.  

Random fact... I sometimes have projectile tears.  That's right.  I sometimes cry so hard that the tears practically shoot out of my eyes because they can't get out of there before new ones are already on their heels... and there will no doubt be many more tears in the weeks to come. 

Langley, BC has been by far one of our favorite places to live and work.  I'm so thankful to have had the chance to live here... BC truly is one of the most beautiful places on earth.  Two weeks to go.

-JLR

Hypocrite

Do you ever have moments when you realize how much of a hypocrite you really are?  As I indulged in three Timbits (donut holes) from Tim Hortons this morning, I realized that all that I've ever said about my recently acquired healthy-eating goals can fly right out the window when I taste that glaze and the donut melts in my mouth... yeah, I still like fat and sugar.  :)

-JLR

Snow Ice Cream

A few weeks ago a friend sent me a recipe that I've been dying to try. The recipe is for Snow Ice Cream-- ice cream made from fresh snow! Unfortunately we haven't had much snowfall this year in the greater Vancouver area, so I've had to wait. Then this morning we awoke to a nice blanket of fluffy snow and I immediately thought to try this recipe while we had the chance!Snow Ice Cream Recipe

8 cups fresh snow
1 cup milk (canned, evaporated milk is best for a rich taste. I used 1% milk and ended up with more of an icemilk consistency)
1/2 cup white sugar (can substitute 1/4 c raw honey)
1 1/2 tsp real vanilla extract
a couple quick dashes of sea salt

Put ice cream bowls into the freezer so they are cold and ready for serving. Mix milk, sweetener, vanilla and sea salt with a whisk in a big bowl. Gently fold in snow. This will be soft, rather like old-fashioned homemade ice cream fresh from the ice cream maker. If you add too much snow, it will be thicker but taste diluted. So just add snow until it tastes right. Sprinkle with chocolate chips, nuts, or colored sprinkles before serving. One recipe makes 3-4 servings, so you may prefer to make a double batch to start with!
Enjoy!

-JLR

A Tanzania Moment

Today as I was getting a prescription filled at the pharmacy, I asked the pharmacist whether they sold the day-by-day pill containers. You know, the kind that have little compartments for S-M-T-W-Th-F-Sa and are usually only used by old people? Well, my supplements are getting a bit out of control and being the kind of person who needs a little organization in my life, I decided I'd bite the bullet and risk resembling the old person stereotype. Back to the point. The pharmacist there is very friendly and speaks great English but has a strong accent that is hard to place. I'm thinking middle East somewhere, but I can't say for sure. Maybe Egypt? Anyway, I asked him if they carried them and he said, "no, but I will check." Check what? You either sell them or you don't, right? I shook it off and as I was walking out noticed there was a dollar store two stores down in the same strip mall. Do you think he would have just run down and checked for me at the dollar store? Does that sort of thing happen here in Canada? It doesn't happen in the US, but it happened ALL THE TIME in Tanzania! A store owner in TZ would be totally happy to send a kid (or go himself/herself) from store to store on your behalf to find out if anyone carried the item you were looking for! This was relatively easy since all the food stores are on one street, the hardware stores on another street, the sewing dukas/stores in one section of the market, etc.

As we stopped into the dollar store and found the pill containers I was looking for, Tim and I agreed that he probably was planning to check here for us! Especially if he had a lull in business and could just hop over for a quick look! I love that so many cultures around the world are so helpful in this way-- it made me miss Tanzania and the days of the helpful shop clerks and drive through produce stands that tend to make consumers like me just a little bit lazier... and happier, I might add. :)

-JLR

The New Year

2011 has not gotten off to a very good start for us. We were traveling over the holidays and got to see our families in Missouri. The trip was good-- much better than we were expecting, to be honest. But like any trip, we were exhausted and anxious to get back to our home here in BC.

When we arrived at our house here in BC on Jan 5, we soon realized that there had been a break-in over the holidays. So while we were looking forward to unwinding, unpacking, and sleeping, our first afternoon/evening back in Canada took a very unexpected turn. We dealt with police reports, visits from our landlord and locksmith, and the start of the very long process of changing personal information that was stolen. We were discouraged to say the least.

We were finally making some headway with getting our house back in order yesterday when we noticed a foul odor in the house. We couldn't pinpoint it, but it seemed to be near the vents. We called the gas company and were advised to leave the house until it could be checked. After more than an hour of waiting in our car (parked on the street) after Micaiah should have been in bed, we were finally cleared to return to the house. While there was no major leak, they said the fan on our furnace had burnt out, causing the smell to be distributed through the vents when the furnace would try to heat the house. They turned our furnace off. They also noticed a small leak on our gas line to our fireplace, so the gas had to be shut off. We were so tired but managed to borrow some electric space heaters and did a family camp out in the living room. Funny, but that's been one of my highlights from this past week-- Micaiah loved the idea of moving the mattresses into the living room and all snuggling in together!

It is so amazing to see what a positive attitude can do in a situation like this. Here I am all discouraged, tired, and in tears and my 5 year old is praising God and just giggly over the fun she gets to have! Tim, too, has been reminding me that complaining does nothing to actually change the situation. Well, nothing but discourage others! So as we've been reading Scriptures on complaining, worries, anxiety, fear, etc., we've decided as a family that we're going to choose joy. Especially when it isn't easy! Because that's when it truly does transform you.

So maybe my past week hasn't been what I would have chosen, but I still have a Good God who loves us and takes care of us. But maybe it's easier to say that when my daughter is screaming "O happy day!" at the top of her lungs. :) Thanks, God, for the many blessings you give me each and every day. And thank you that your grace is enough to get me through the trials we face each day as well.

-JLR

Neck Pain part 2

The pain described in my last post has not gone away. Today is day 18 of my pain and despite my desperate prayers for relief this morning (I was thinking, "wouldn't it be great if God gave me HEALING for my birthday this year??"), I'm still in pain. The pain has definitely diminished. I've been doing physiotherapy and every day I do most of those exercises at home (the ones that don't require equipment). My back is getting stronger, for sure, but I'm still not out of the woods.

The biggest problem for me is the persistent, nagging pain. I can handle pain for a while, but long-term pain has been a real challenge. I wish I could say that I've stood firm(ly?), but the truth is that some days I'm hardly standing at all. Or I'm standing without the victory of a positive, hope-filled attitude. I've been almost afraid to blog about it because I'm never sure if my real feelings-- the raw truth-- will come out and everyone will know what a bad Christian/Missionary I really am. But maybe that's not an entirely bad thing.

A friend sent me a sermon a couple weeks back and I've listened to it several times now. It combines prayer (particularly the "give us this day our daily bread" concept) and the verses I've been meditating on from Isaiah (see below). Which of these three do you think is most impressive?

1. soar on wings like eagles
2. run and not grow weary
3. walk and not be faint (not fall over)

The point this pastor made was that the real miracle in these verses and the climax of the passage in the Hebrew poetry is #3. Taking one step at a time without falling over is the real goal of trusting and hoping in the Lord. I'm there. Well, I hope I'm there anyway. I don't feel like I'm getting very far-- and I'm definitely not soaring or running!-- but each day I get up and don't completely curse God for this pain and these trials, I guess I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. It still doesn't feel like a miracle.

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40: 28-31

-JLR

What a Pain in the Neck

This week I've been dealing with a whole host of issues in my neck and upper back.

1. Pinched nerve. Man oh man, do these hurt!
2. Two vertebrae (C7 and L3) that weren't "moving," which led to..
3. Muscle spasms and knots
4. My 2nd rib out of place
5. Not being able to sleep for more than 1.5-2 hours at a time and using Aleve as a crutch 24 hours a day (I'm not a big fan of painkillers, so this is big).

I like to think that I have a high threshold of pain, but I don't know that I can boast of that any longer. I was comparing it to childbirth pain only worse, because I didn't know when/if it would ever end!

I am so thankful for my friend and her husband. They have been real agents of healing and change in my life anyway, and now Dave (who's a physiotherapist) has given me two treatments to help deal with all of the above.

I know that my love for God should never be conditional upon my circumstances, but sometimes when God moves, I can't help but say thanks. God has provided healing (we'll see how I'm doing in the morning!). God has provided people who care. God has provided a couple who are helping me get the physical and emotional healing I need so that we can return to doing what He's called us to do in Tanzania. God has been so present and almost tangible as He pours out His love... so I think what started out being the biggest pain in my neck this week (literally and figuratively) is now my biggest cause for praise.

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40: 28-31

-JLR

Diarrhea of the Mouth

Have you ever felt this way? Like any and all attempts to hold in your words were absolutely futile? I've been feeling like that a lot the past few weeks. Typically it is in relation to culture. I can't for some reason talk about the differences between cultures without imposing judgment and negativity on one side or the other... take Halloween candy, for example. Last year we were completely thrown off-guard that Halloween candy was so different here in BC. It turns out that there is more influence from the UK, so there are more Cadbury products (and other companies, maybe??) and "weird" things like CoffeeCrisp, CrispyCrunch, Wonderbar, Aero, Caramilk and Smarties (the chocolate M&M-esque kind). They're not our favorites, but not because they are inherently BAD... they're just DIFFERENT from what we grew up with. Our tastes are more accustomed to Reeses, KitKat (even the KitKats here taste different bc they are from a different chocolate company), Snickers, Milky Way, 3 Musketeers, M&Ms, Hershey's, etc, etc, etc.

Anyway, the point I'm trying to make (and maybe not succeeding at...) is that I don't know how to process those and other differences without imposing judgment. Most of the time I just keep it in or talk about them with a few select people who know about my lack of a filter when I'm processing externally. But is that really better? James 3 talks about the tongue as a rudder and how it directs us to where we will go. It also says that it is impossible to tame the tongue. That's probably because the tongue only exposes what is already in our hearts. Matthew 12:34-36 is pretty clear about how it is because of what is in our hearts that we say what we say. But doesn't the Sermon on the Mount take all of those things to a heart level? If we hold them in our hearts but never speak on them, is it any better? Won't they come out in some way or another? The truth is, I think part of me resents the fact that I'm always the one caught between cultures. It's hard being a cross-cultural worker and always having to fit in with the host culture. Especially when every time I give up a bit of my own culture, I fit in less in the US when we're back! Why is it always me that has to change? If I keep changing, how will I ever know who the real ME is?? It's pretty draining. But if we're going to keep living the nomadic lifestyle we're living (Canada, Tanzania, wherever), I'm going to have to get at the roots of what is causing me to have diarrhea of the mouth... and for some reason stopping it up (think verbal Immodium) is not really going to fix the real problem. :)

-JLR

GEMS Crazy Hair Day

Tonight was crazy hair day at GEMS (the Thursday night girls club at church). I spent way too much time this afternoon braiding pipe cleaners into Micaiah's hair... oh but it was so fun looking!
This is the "before bed" shot-- I'm hoping the loose ponytail will keep the pipe cleaners from poking her little head. :)

-JLR

Tim's New Blog

Tim's going to be writing about his thesis-writing on his new blog. Check out the video he just made (there's also a link on his latest post) ... it's hilarious and I can verify that these conversations happen all the time! In fact, I've even been guilty of it myself at points. :)

-JLR

Watercolor Card

I've been meeting with an amazing, godly woman every week while we've been in Canada. She's awesome and this past week celebrated a birthday. I got her a fairly simple, generic gift, which always feels so impersonal. So as I was brainstorming how to make it more personal, I caught a glimpse of my watercolors and decided to play around... and came up with the idea of a watercolor birthday card! I got the idea/design from a website that I no longer have the link for. But the idea was good (and helpful since I hadn't painted in a while). In fact, I think I might do some more cards with teacup/flower themes. We shall see. Either way, I loved the creative time and will definitely be doing more painting in the future!

-JLR

Back Home

I struggle with the idea of home. There are very familiar places that feel familiar, but is that the same thing as "home"? A couple weeks ago I set out for a Member Care course that was being offered in Pennsylvania. Thanks to a busy schedule and the start of classes for Tim at TWU/CanIL, my family (Tim and Micaiah) wasn't able to come with me. So I set out by myself. The course was amazing and I learned a ton, but I missed my family. When we were finally reunited two days ago at SeaTac Airport, I couldn't have been happier! Home for me is definitely wherever those two are!

Since arriving back at our house here in Canada (we are fortunate enough to be renting the same house two years in a row!), I also feel more "at home". It is difficult to live in transition all the time, so maybe one aspect of "home" is stability and feeling like it is a place to settle and put down some roots.

The past few days have been a whirlwind for us as a family! I arrived at Seattle on Sunday and we spent the afternoon driving back to Langley and doing some shopping. My family did a good job of eating decent food while I was away, but I could tell Tim was anxious to give back the burden of meal planning and food prep. :) I'm happy to have it back, honestly, and I'm looking forward to trying some of the new recipes I've collected... not to mention the three new cookbooks I will be working through this year! Yay for More With Less, Simply in Season, and Extending the Table!!! I can't WAIT to try all the recipes!!!

In other news, we also officially started our Homeschool Kindergarten year on Monday. We're two days in and loving it! It is going so well, and I think being able to create a "desk space" for Micaiah is helping her get into it as well. She has a calendar and a schedule on the wall by her desk and I made a name sheet for the top of her desk... you know, the kind with your name printed neatly on the lined sheet with decor on the edges?? She lit up when she saw it. She was still very sad that she wouldn't get to ride a bus to school. But even if she went to a school here she wouldn't ride a bus since the elementary school is within walking distance.

Micaiah is getting so big! I know I keep saying this, but it is really hitting me hard. To make things even more real, she lost her very first tooth this afternoon. My how time flies. I remember when she got that tooth (at four months, mind you!) and I couldn't believe how fast my BABY was growing up... so much to be nostalgic about. :)

Anyway, that's about it for now. I have a few more things to blog about in the near future, so hopefully it won't be so long between posts. :)

-JLR

Road Trip

Tomorrow morning we begin a road trip from Langley, BC, Canada to Missouri for the summer. We have scheduled several stops along the way and we're looking forward to seeing a few familiar faces along the way, as well! One of the things I'm most looking forward to is seeing our friends in Loveland, Colorado again. While we don't have a lot planned in terms of sight-seeing along the way, I imagine we'll try to make a few short stops along the way. I've also heard that the route we're planning to take is absolutely breath-taking.

Road trips... yeah, I don't think I'm a fan. It's a long time in the car and my neck and back usually start hurting after just a few hours. If it weren't significantly cheaper to drive, I'd definitely be happy to hop on a flight! One of the things I guess I AM looking forward to is to do a lot of old-school road trip games with Micaiah this year. MadLibs... license plate games... I spy... Alphabet/sign games...etc, etc. Tim's working on some good mix CDs, so that could be fun. I guess (like usual) it comes down to deciding to have a good attitude about it all.

Anyone have any good old-school road trip game ideas?? Family favorites?? Let me know and I'll add it to my list!! (I think we'll stop for email at least once along the way, so feel free to send the ideas even after tomorrow!!)

-JLR

Packing

We are packing... again. I wish that I had counted the number of days since being married that Tim and I have spent packing. It has to be an outrageous number! We've lived in 10 different homes (staying in a private or semi-private space for more than 4 weeks) plus countless guesthouses and spare rooms in only 7 1/2 years of marriage. And those homes are in 4 different countries (guesthouses in 5!). Wow.

It's not all bad, though. It is quite freeing to have the opportunity to throw away junk and consolidate our earthly belongings every so often. In fact, we consider it a blessing to have so little in terms of material possessions, and to be reminded that this time on earth is so temporary.

That being said, I would love a 'real' home of my own someday, and I pray that God would meet that heart-desire in some way if that's not possible.

--JLR

M's Bday Cakes #2 and #3

These pictures have been such a long time in coming! I finally downloaded the pics to my computer, so a blog post seemed appropriate. Pics from Micaiah's first cake this year can be found here.

Her second cake was for Micaiah's actual birthday. Tim's parents were visiting at the time and his mom has some dietary restrictions. This cake worked perfectly! The batter was simply 2 boxes cake mix, 2 cans of sprite zero and food coloring. The icing was cool whip (the fat-free, non-dairy kind) plus 2 packages of pudding mix. Super easy! Well, at least until the part where you divide it up and put it all together!

The process...
The birthday girl...

The inside rainbow swirl effect...
And for being a diet cake, it was really quite yummy!

Micaiah's third cake of this birthday season (gah!) was the fanciest. The cakes themselves were simple white and simple chocolate, but the decorating was what made it a beast of a cake. In keeping with the princess party theme, I had great ambitions for a castle cake. It wouldn't have been possible without the Wilton Castle Cake set, which included plastic towers, windows, doors, and directions for how to do this. I was also able to do some ahead of time, which helped a ton. Here's what we ended up with:

Adding the towers I had decorated the night before. (I hadn't thought to get the camera out before this!)
The final product and details...



Micaiah blowing out the candles at her party...
The cake tasted great and was so pretty. The only problem is that I wish I'd have had a way to anchor the turrets better. Throughout the party I kept hearing small crashes only to find that one or more of the turrets had fallen and needed some rigging.

After last year I was excited to 'raise the bar' since I knew I'd have more access to cake decorating resources (pans, consistent electricity, ingredients, etc.). After surviving this year I've made a commitment to 'lower the bar' for next year for my own sanity. :)

-JLR

Hotel Roth... Again!

We have really enjoyed hosting three rounds of house guests this month. We are on our third round now (Tim's parents). Hosting guests has it's fair share of ups and downs, especially when it's family/in-laws! Even with that in mind, I have become more and more convinced that this is something I would love to do more regularly in the future. I've thought about running a B&B or a guesthouse or something... who knows. I guess I'll just have to wait to see what sorts of opportunities arise.

-JLR

M's Bday Cake #1

Birthday cakes have become one of my favorite things! I love making cakes and even more than that, I love the excitement and appreciation from Micaiah, my special birthday girl! This year we plan to have lots of guests in March to help us celebrate her 5th birthday... Nana and Aunt Jaime came this past week, Grandma and Grandpa Roth are coming next week, and the week after we'll do a friends party. I got this great idea for a multi-layer rainbow cake from a seminar at church on party planning. The facilitator forwarded lots of info, and I also found another blog online with some additional info.

Anyway, here are some pics from my first cake adventure of the birthday season!

(minus the purple batter, which was already in the oven!)
I told Micaiah that I lost the colors... she was bummed. :) This cake was so massive that the cake cover wouldn't fit!
The happy birthday girl with the first slice.
The insides of the cake.
Oh, and with only one cake pan (which I would never again attempt!), I could not have accomplished this task without Jaime to keep me company. Thanks!

-JLR