Doing the Dance

An amazing friend/mentor gave me a word picture today that has been so impacting that I just can't keep it to myself. We were talking about the challenges of interacting with family and how as Christians we can be godly in our interactions with them. She had been talking with her sister-in-law about how each family has a dance. Keep in mind that this is not a judgment on whether that dance is right or wrong (although we could go there at a later point...), but this is more like comparing swing to the polka to the waltz to break-dancing, etc., etc.

So anyway, one of the reasons so many of us have difficulty understanding our in-laws is that they are doing a different dance than we're used to. For example, my husband understands the dance his family does, whether or not he agrees with it-- and to be honest sometimes it is easier to dance along than to raise a fuss! But if that type of dancing does not come naturally to me, what do I do? Do I become someone I am not and learn to do the dance because it makes them happy? Or do I do my own dance? Or do I respectfully decline not to dance at all, denying both their style of dancing and my own (so I'm not disruptive for their dance)? Or do I pass judgment, complain and make fun of their dance because it is so clearly "wrong"?

Sometimes in my idealistic zeal I get caught up in discussions about what dance is right. Or the MOST right. But the truth is that I need to figure out how to pay respect to my in-laws and appreciate the beauty of their dance. I also need to feel heard and understood about my own dance and I want to be appreciated for who I am and what I can bring to the family. But where is the balance and where does holiness/righteousness fit into it all?

Oh how I love word pictures, and this one is going to stick with me for a long time, I think!

--JLR