I've been collecting my thoughts for months now and every time I hear of a friend "clearing out their facebook friend list" I think about it again. It has been the reason why I don't post pictures or stories as often on FB or even my blog... and here's what it boils down to for me at least. Feel free to chime in if you have other thoughts to add.
- Trust. If I post something, I'm trusting all those who read/view it to interact with it. This means leaving a comment or "liking" it or somehow telling me (ie: by email) that you've interacted with my blog/page/wall. You don't have to comment on or like every picture/post, but occasionally would at least let me know what interests you and who my audience is.
- Give-And-Take. Getting comments is a bit like having a conversation. You comment. I respond. That's how these internet conversations go. If I post and you don't comment, then this is a very one-sided (and therefore unhealthy) relationship, isn't it? Isn't the logical extent of a one-sided relationship stalking or some other dysfunction??
- Balance. I'm being vulnerable by posting something. If you read it without responding, there's an imbalance there for sure! I'm not saying you have to comment on everything, but at least occasionally..
- Manners. I think it boils down to having good manners and following good etiquette in the facebook/blog realm. The difficulty (and I understand this!) is that these technologies are still new, so collectively we're still figuring out what's appropriate and what isn't.
- Purpose. People use facebook and blogs for very different reasons. Some people use them as a journal and others just to entertain their friends. These different purposes might lead to different expectations on interactions. For example, a cooking blog is not personal, so I don't feel the need to comment on it from time to time unless I make one of the recipes and want to communicate my praise. But for those of us who bare our soul from time to time in the public forum, we perhaps have different expectations. (by the way, baring one's soul is a generational thing to some extent at least. I can't imagine someone in my parents' generation wrestling with a spiritual or emotional issue publicly!)
-JLR
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9 comments:
I suppose it would be extremely rude to read this post without making a comment, huh? Especially since you probably have a good idea who it is from the live traffic feed...
I definitely see your point, but for me, the idea of posting something on the web for the whole world to read is in itself pretty overwhelming. I don't enjoy writing, and especially not when I have come up with things off the top of my head on short notice. I think about things for a long time before committing them to paper. Many times I will reread your posts 5 or 6 times and ponder them as I think about what I might say in response. By the time I'm finally ready to type something out it feels like the moment has passed and everyone else has already moved onto something else...
It's not a good excuse for letting you lead one sided conversations, but hopefully gives you a little insight as to why you see so many "visitor from Independence, MO" entries who never seem to leave any comments...
Jaime
This post was definitely not meant as a personal attack, and it was definitely not directed at you or any of my friends who comment from time to time! Just to be clear. :) Thanks for the comment and I do enjoy seeing "Independence" on our feedjit...
I guess *cough* I should comment. I have to confess, I'm bad about commenting on blogs. I often read posts and intend to post something "really profound" (yeah, right) later on, but then get sidetracked by other things. But, I agree, it is nice to get feedback...
Jeana, does your tracker tell you when people read your feed on, let's say, google reader. I didn't think they tracked that, but then I only go to the actual site to leave a comment, and then, I have left a comment, so tracked myself.
On privacy, you have got to do what you think you should do. But as far as manners go, and this might be a little too blunt, I think you can only control you. If you are choosing to put a post out there, you are doing it to bless the readers, whomever they may be. They might never comment, they might comment rudely, they might think you are looney. It is their issue. Your issue is what God has you doing.
For me, I have not got back into reading blogs since we moved, partially because I have been trying to spend time making friends in our new community, making sure the girls have a place to fit. People go through times when you are going to be a real blessing to them, and then they go through times when they have to focus elsewhere, even if they really love you. I love you, and have been learning these things over the last year. I hope that you are blessed by my blog post that happens to be in your comment section. :)
Thanks for the comments.
Katie, I want to especially thank you for your thoughtful comment/blogpost. :) I'm learning exactly what you described-- that "you can only control you" principle. You are a very wise friend! I started blogging as a way to give people an informal snapshot of our life in TZ, but while we were in N America it morphed into... well, I don't know what, actually. I think that's why I'm so frustrated with it. It will be easier (I hope!) when we are back in TZ and it is fulfilling its original purposes. And I don't feel the need to be quite so personal in TZ where there is so much else to talk about!
Thanks again, everyone, for the comments and for interacting with me as I sort all this out. :)
As I said, Jeana, I love you. I am glad you are sorting everything out, and that you trust us enough to involve us in the sorting out. I need sorted out myself, and am not as humble as you are about the whole thing. Thanks for posting your thoughts, thanks for being real with us. I hope that we can continue to encourage you, the rest of your time here, and when you get back to TZ. I do value your friendship very much, whether you are near or far...please don't ever let my blog readership tell you different. :)
The Nairobi post is from me! We're at conference and missing the Roths. :)
Not sure why the tracker says Amsterdam for me, as I'm in Leiden at the moment. Maybe that's close enough for it :) I think it's amusing that you get to see that I navigated from the birthday cakes blogpost to these new ones - that is the one that is stored as my link to your blog page, for some reason I can't get it to link to whatever the most recent post is. Micaiah's cake post will get lots of traffic as a result :) and once again I can marvel at the beauty of those creations! Miss u guys xxx Hazel
What do you think of Leiden, Hazel? We miss you too. We sent a card to your UK address this past week and I wondered when you might be there to get it. :) Safari njema!!
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