The Body

I've been seeing a new doctor. She's an N.D. or Naturopathic Doctor and specializes in the area of hormones. I've never seen an ND before and I was really nervous at first. But she's been treating me for hormone imbalance and as she explained to me the connections between stress, cortisol, progesterone and women's issues (for lack of a better term), I was simply amazed. How did I not know all this before? How are there complete gaps in my knowledge of basic human body function? And more importantly, why do my doctors not know anything about this either? It's almost twilight zone-esque sometimes.

So here's the run down as I understand it. Feel free to add or correct if I'm not completely getting it right. I'm not a doctor and like I already admitted I am learning most of this for the first time!

Stress uses a hormone called cortisol. You may already know that Adrenaline is a stress hormone, but it only deals in the short term, giving you an "adrenaline rush." But cortisol is responsible for long-term stress management. Too much or too little cortisol can lead to side effects. (ie: too little can lead to fatigue, too much can lead to anxiety and panic attacks) Ok. are we good so far? Cortisol is actually made from progesterone. So when your body is under stress for long periods of time, it will eventually run out of cortisol and have to make more-- taking from the progesterone supply in your body. Well each person's body needs a certain amount of progesterone to function smoothly. For women especially, a lot of "issues" come from imbalance between progesterone and estrogen, as these two increase/decrease in various parts of your cycle. (As a side note, many people are already high on estrogens because of the environmental estrogen and phytoestrogens... compounds in plastics, refined sugars, processed foods, and even petroleum-based lotions and soaps!) And progesterone... did you know that it is manufactured in the body from cholesterol stores?? Goodness! I didn't catch whether it came from HDL or LDL cholesterol, so sorry about that. Maybe someone can leave a comment and fill me in.

Isn't all that fascinating? Ok, so maybe it's more interesting to me right now because it's actually HELPFUL to me as I get all this worked out. But to see the indirect correlation between stress and hormones was really pivotal in my understanding of how things are (or aren't) working in my body.

And to think that God worked these systems out in our human bodies... can you believe it? What complexities! Scripture tells us "do not fear," "don't be anxious," etc, and with good reason! If we harbor those things long-term we can really get out of balance! It's also a good reminder to be getting Sabbath Rest and to guard that time/energy. It's so easy to work, work, work in North American culture without taking the time to recharge. It's good to think about which activities are restful (as in not requiring much energy-- ie: watching a movie) and which activities are actually life-giving (as in adding more energy--ie: taking a nap or reading Scripture).

I wonder if this topic will be as much of an encouragement to anyone else as it has been to me...

-JLR

On Second Thought...

Joy is not working out for me today. The aftermath of all that's happened in the past week has been more than I can bear emotionally and I'm completely broken. I'm struggling with panic, fear, and stress that doesn't seem to go away no matter how hard I pray, breathe, or talk things through! I suppose it's normal to have good days and bad days, but sheesh.

Yesterday we heard a really good sermon on undeserved grace. I know the point was probably for us to realize how much we need God's grace, but instead God drove home the point that I need to forgive the person or people who broke into our home. I've been shown so much grace and God has loved me since before I did anything good... shouldn't I be an agent of that grace to others? Even if they aren't deserving? (who is deserving, anyway?)
"But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions-- it is by grace you have been saved. --Ephesians 2:4
I made a first step toward forgiveness, but I know that it's probably not as simple as saying "I forgive them" once. I expect that it will come up over and over as I realize just how much I'm actually forgiving them for.

Am I alone? Has anyone out there had to forgive someone for something that seemed unforgivable or for something that was still producing negative effects? I'd love to hear some other thoughts on this.

-JLR

The New Year

2011 has not gotten off to a very good start for us. We were traveling over the holidays and got to see our families in Missouri. The trip was good-- much better than we were expecting, to be honest. But like any trip, we were exhausted and anxious to get back to our home here in BC.

When we arrived at our house here in BC on Jan 5, we soon realized that there had been a break-in over the holidays. So while we were looking forward to unwinding, unpacking, and sleeping, our first afternoon/evening back in Canada took a very unexpected turn. We dealt with police reports, visits from our landlord and locksmith, and the start of the very long process of changing personal information that was stolen. We were discouraged to say the least.

We were finally making some headway with getting our house back in order yesterday when we noticed a foul odor in the house. We couldn't pinpoint it, but it seemed to be near the vents. We called the gas company and were advised to leave the house until it could be checked. After more than an hour of waiting in our car (parked on the street) after Micaiah should have been in bed, we were finally cleared to return to the house. While there was no major leak, they said the fan on our furnace had burnt out, causing the smell to be distributed through the vents when the furnace would try to heat the house. They turned our furnace off. They also noticed a small leak on our gas line to our fireplace, so the gas had to be shut off. We were so tired but managed to borrow some electric space heaters and did a family camp out in the living room. Funny, but that's been one of my highlights from this past week-- Micaiah loved the idea of moving the mattresses into the living room and all snuggling in together!

It is so amazing to see what a positive attitude can do in a situation like this. Here I am all discouraged, tired, and in tears and my 5 year old is praising God and just giggly over the fun she gets to have! Tim, too, has been reminding me that complaining does nothing to actually change the situation. Well, nothing but discourage others! So as we've been reading Scriptures on complaining, worries, anxiety, fear, etc., we've decided as a family that we're going to choose joy. Especially when it isn't easy! Because that's when it truly does transform you.

So maybe my past week hasn't been what I would have chosen, but I still have a Good God who loves us and takes care of us. But maybe it's easier to say that when my daughter is screaming "O happy day!" at the top of her lungs. :) Thanks, God, for the many blessings you give me each and every day. And thank you that your grace is enough to get me through the trials we face each day as well.

-JLR

12 Days of Christmas

We've been watching the calendar this year in expectation for returning to Missouri for the holidays. When I checked the calendar today, I noticed that today is Dec 14-- 12 Days from Christmas (counting today through the 25th)!

Well, I never have been sure whether the 12 Days of Christmas was before or after Christmas. After a quick Wikipedia search, I found that traditionally it goes from Christmas or Boxing Day to Jan 6 (Epiphany). But since I was already thinking of the songs, I thought I'd post about it anyway. My all-time favorite version of this song is the one with Mickey, Donald and the whole crew... ah good memories from my childhood! I also loved the Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas album (a real record!) that we used to put on the record player as we wrapped presents in the warmth of the fireplace in the basement. Good times.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...
12 drummers drumming
11 pipers piping
10 lords-a-leaping
9 ladies dancing
8 maids-a-milking
7 swans-a-swimming
6 geese-a-laying
5 golden rings!
4 calling birds
3 french hens
2 turtle doves
and a partridge in a pear tree!

-JLR

Neck Pain part 2

The pain described in my last post has not gone away. Today is day 18 of my pain and despite my desperate prayers for relief this morning (I was thinking, "wouldn't it be great if God gave me HEALING for my birthday this year??"), I'm still in pain. The pain has definitely diminished. I've been doing physiotherapy and every day I do most of those exercises at home (the ones that don't require equipment). My back is getting stronger, for sure, but I'm still not out of the woods.

The biggest problem for me is the persistent, nagging pain. I can handle pain for a while, but long-term pain has been a real challenge. I wish I could say that I've stood firm(ly?), but the truth is that some days I'm hardly standing at all. Or I'm standing without the victory of a positive, hope-filled attitude. I've been almost afraid to blog about it because I'm never sure if my real feelings-- the raw truth-- will come out and everyone will know what a bad Christian/Missionary I really am. But maybe that's not an entirely bad thing.

A friend sent me a sermon a couple weeks back and I've listened to it several times now. It combines prayer (particularly the "give us this day our daily bread" concept) and the verses I've been meditating on from Isaiah (see below). Which of these three do you think is most impressive?

1. soar on wings like eagles
2. run and not grow weary
3. walk and not be faint (not fall over)

The point this pastor made was that the real miracle in these verses and the climax of the passage in the Hebrew poetry is #3. Taking one step at a time without falling over is the real goal of trusting and hoping in the Lord. I'm there. Well, I hope I'm there anyway. I don't feel like I'm getting very far-- and I'm definitely not soaring or running!-- but each day I get up and don't completely curse God for this pain and these trials, I guess I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. It still doesn't feel like a miracle.

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40: 28-31

-JLR